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May 30, 2008 11:17 AM- postcards from the mountainside

Dear May,

We haven't ever been friends. (Oh sure, there was that weekend I spent with you in Philadelphia when Mookie was getting married and you swept me off my feet with your lush lawns, showers of pink petals on the breeze and the heady scent of Korean spice viburnum, but we all know how easy--and dare I say clich?-- it is to hook up with someone at a wedding).

So, pardon my surprise but hell if this isn't what all those dusty 18th century British poets must've been gibbering about.

Damn girl, you are fine.

Why have you spent so many years giving me the chilly, buggy and overcast shoulder? Why have you waited so long to dazzle me with days upon days of sunshine, cloudless skies and sweet breezes until I am dazed?

Any chance you could hang around for another month and ask June to head out to sea?

Just, you know, a thought . . .

___________________________

Dear birds,

I don't mean to be a rude host, or anything-- I know we're the ones who keep inviting you here-- and I don't want to ask you to turn down the music or anything-- it's your party-- but, when you're done stuffing your maws at the feeders, could you please take a moment to think before you fly?

Friends don't let friends slam into closed windows.

Please note the new addition. These are not just chimes, kids. Think of them as your warning bells. Your lighthouse atop the rocky shore. Your fucking FOGHORN that blares: don't fly into the fucking window.

Ya, tweet?

___________________________

Dear Daisy,

I love your little posture. I love how you carry sticks with your head held high as if you were one of the original Clydesdales bringing fresh beer to a thirsty mob. I might have to try and create a silhouette of you, but it will never capture your particular spark.

Too bad I spoiled you rotten. You might've been a really nice dog.

___________________________

Dear Reader,

Please disregard concern about bringing a beagle into our home. I have received many an email assuring me of how well beagles can get along with chihuahuas (and remember, Ollie is only HALF chihuahua)-- and we do LOVE us some beagles.

To recap: all slurs agains the darling breed of BEAGLE was most unintentional-- we love beagles.

Now, off with you to your fabulous weekend--

got 2 cents?



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cornball says:
I don't want to be first...do I have to? Loved this post, BP. The lilacs are beautiferous, they were me mum's fave. Aesthetically pleasing bird diverter--nice solution.
posted on: May 30

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Tracey says:
Yea, May has been exceptionally stunning lately; I hear she's been getting it on with the debonair October behind the poolhouse. If the pretty chimes don't work on your misguided winged-friends, maybe you could install a safety voice like the syrupy one in planes, "Pull up! Terrain ahead!" I thought it'd be funny if those voices were actually coming from an urban thuggish-man: Pull up, mutha fucka; there's some shit ahead, dumbass! And to think you almost named sweet Daisy "SKANK"! Now, I'm off to begin all the fabulousness. Kiss, Kiss!
posted on: May 30

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Heather says:
Yes, May is fabulous, isn't it? Lilacs and Peonies and Beagles oh my! (Had to get the BEAGLES in didn't I? - I must show off more puppy photos of my beagle bunch!)
posted on: May 30

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Chris says:
Those flowers are stunning! Birds are forever committing suicide against the windows down here, too. Still makes me sad, no matter how many times I see it happen. Happy Weekend, BP!
posted on: May 31

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kateri says:
Oh BP, you had me at hello...I am a sucker for lilacs. And those them there are stupendous. I'm glad you and May have made peace...she's a good friend of mine. Enjoy dear one! And have you ever tried old silver spoons on bright yellow ribbon for the birds? I have big picture windows throughout my house and it's a constant worry...but the spoons do work...sometimes. xo
posted on: May 31

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lizardek says:
May has been exceptional this year, hasn't she? I hear she's bringing up her little sister, June, just right. A bright and happy family!
posted on: June 01

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misty says:
i love this post... i know i am not alone when i say this, but when i grow up i want to be just like you. Happy first day of June, may it kick may right in the ass as far as lovely goes! the lilacs have already done their thing here...i envy yours....sigh.
posted on: June 01

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violetismycolor says:
Very clever post...but I have to differ about May...she was incredibly disappointing and wet/cold. Glad yours was better.
posted on: June 01

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gracia says:
Damn, May was a mighty fine gal... why didn't she stick around? I'm sure her dear chum June is just as sweet but she better not be in a hurry to rush out the door. be well, g xx
posted on: June 02

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Molly says:
So: I came into the classroom this morning and what did I find? The librarian had left me a bouquet of those gorgeous lilacs. Why can't it always be lilac season?
posted on: June 02

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bad penguin says:
May was pretty lovely here too, after a few crazy rainy days. Hopefully June will be even more beautiful I'm glad I'm not the only defender of beagles!
posted on: June 02

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Jessie says:
gosh, i love being entertained by your writing. :)
posted on: June 02

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hele says:
Sigh...so much beauty mixed in with laughter makes my soul dance.
posted on: June 03

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Jazz says:
Dear May, Couldn't you have been lovely like in BP land rather than cold and wet and nasty?
posted on: June 03

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Bethany says:
If May didn't bring us Pollen From The Bowels Of Hell on a daily basis, I would be crushing on it right along with you. Absolutely gorgeous lilacs!
posted on: June 03

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