Release ~ Breathe ~ Relinquish ~ Content ~ Om ~ Replenish ~ Chill ~ Ocean ~ Equanimity ~ Valium ~ Hush ~ Pause ~ Nourish ~ Compromise ~ Present ~ Chillax ~ Joy ~ Quiet ~ Dream ~ Slow ~ Steady ~ Cherish ~ Wonder ~ Child-like ~ Be ~ Serenity ~ Just This ~ Stop ~ Be ~ Live ~ Green ~ Underwater ~ Still ~ Beloved ~ Cherished ~ Flow ~ Relax ~ Peace

WORDS

You know that Verizon commercial where the nerdy guy and smiling phalanx follow the phone user around? That's exactly what it feels like for me, with you.

It's like there's this collective support network propping me upright. So here's a word for you: THANKS

INSPIRATION

In the late 80s, I lived in Mookie's condo and almost every Saturday night we would end up at the cinema on Church Street in Harvard Square where there was a midnight showing of Stop Making Sense. I truly can't tell you how many times I have watched that film, but I can tell you if it were playing right now, I'd stop whatever I was doing and go watch it. Yesterday, I came across this beautiful op-ed by David Byrne in memory of Bob Rauschenberg.

I found this via Leah and man, was I glad I did.

It echoed a post I read at Christine Kane's site. Try, try again, baby.

And then, yesterday read this post chez Kateri which hit me like a well-timed series of pings on a row of small chimes.

MY UNFINISHED HOUSE

The fact of the matter is, since 1992, I have been living in an unfinished house. Not the same house, mind you, but the house that we lived in (oh so funny, I totally just had a typo and wrote "loved in"-- ha) was always a job site. Always always always. And, the house we currently live in has a list of to-dos longer than my arm and people, I have arms like an orangutan, seriously-- loooooong arms.

But I have given over to this, for the most part. I am conditioned to it and it honestly doesn't interfere with my enjoyment of my home. So the other day, I had a bit of a realization that some of my head stress of late is that I have all these ideas and ideas and ideas and plans for things I want for SAW. And I want this vision in place now. What helped me was realizing that SAW is not going to be "done" this first year, or even next year-- that it is going to develop and grow and I have to just let go about it being young, stumbling and not yet wheeling down the street on its brand-new bicycle.

Also, the reason our house and our life/creative projects are always looming with to-dos is because T and I ate too much mercury as children and our imaginations are too fucking big for our heads. It's a disease, I tell you. Something I have got to learn to live with, happily. In comfort. Without resistance. Yeah, I'll keep you posted on that . . .

Okay, I'll be honest, of all the words above-- it was VALIUM that spoke to me most. I would seriously love some valium. If anyone has a connec and wants to hook me up, awesome.

Meantime, off to walk the brombies . . . a bientot.

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