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June 28, 2004 8:48 PM- more trippiness (but no photos, helas)
The truth? I am buzzed AGAIN. That's now twice in a row-- and, honestly? I'm a little bit shocked. Maybe this is the harbinger of some serious change in my life. Early warnings of a mid-life crisis? Who knows? Stay tuned.
I write to you from a most fabulous computer chez HBS. That's right. Harvard Business School (I wonder whose room I'm in?--- you know, the person who lives here September thru May, hmm?) Anyway. I am here for a week of executive education and so far here's what I have learned:
1) there is a a flavor industry. A FLAVOR industry!! That's to say, our food today as it is currently processed is WITHOUT flavor. The flavor has to be added back into it. Holy shit. Did y'all know this? What the fuck-- this is why I live far far away in my little town where I don't have to know the scary Star Trek elements of our modern world. And, who can guess where the epicenter of the Flavor Industry is located? Anyone? Girl in the back with her hand up? What's that you say? New Jersey? Yes-- that is correct. Add Flavor Industry to the many heinous infractions of New Jersey.
Holy Jesus and the Carpenters.
2) When you attend a week long executive ed course at Harvard you get all kinds of stuff including a serious ass tote bag. So far, I think that's the best thing I'm gonna get out of here which makes my tote bag a pretty spectacular $7600 gym bag.
3) I've also learned some serious law of averages. Such as. If there is a person who did not do ANY of the prep reading or review ANY of the case studies, what are the chances that person will be designated group leader? Oh yes. 100%. Fuck me. So there I am-- last one in the door (although I live the closest and people have traveled here from fucking everywhere) and we sit down and these people are SERIOUS-- like hungry wolves and you're messing around with them with a piece of raw meat. I am so not kidding-- these people think this is important. So, I am nothing if not skilled in flying by the seat of my pants. But JAY-sus. Give a girl a drink before launching her into that hornet's nest.
So yeah-- lots of very serious lectures, but in-between? We're eating and drinking like we're on a cruise ship (not that I've ever been on a cruise ship and not like I'd EVER go on a cruise ship cause the very idea grosses me out)-- but I've read about them and I think it is alot like this-- gourmet food, constantly-- plying you with alcohol after 6 pm and right now? Buzzed. AND-- I'm supposed to do these "homework" assignments? Please.
Do you know what else I learned? I hate business. I really do-- my best moment today was coming out of the bathroom and standing in front of this really cool multimedia piece and wishing I was in art school before I had to head back in and listen to revenue deltas (or is it the delta of the revenue?) and productivity analysis and time to market blah blah blah. . .. but all the while wondering if that artist was off eating peanut butter & jelly for dinner while I'm being plied with salmon and sundried tomatoes. I've been on both sides. I truly have. And I know when I was on the peanut butter diet I often thought I would willingly sell my soul for financial solvency. But now that I have? The food has no taste . ..
got 2 cents?
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otter says:
Ah, yes, the salmon is always pinker on the other side of the fence. I'm with you on hating the business thing. Bleck. Although a cocktail is an excellent way of washing the bad taste (new improved Hoboken revenue delta formulation!) out of your mouth.
posted on: June 28
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rachael says:
Additives and Artificial Flavoring makes me shudder. I had a fake blueberry muffin recently... the alleged blueberries were glowing BRIGHT (read: FAKE) blue & tasted more Pop Tart than freshly picked. Scary.
posted on: June 29
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Croila says:
Oh I had to laugh on reading how you were designated group leader! I've been in that position before, and after a very fast moment of "fuckitty fuckitty OH FUCK" thoughts, you just have to fasten the seatbelt for the seat-of-pants-flight, and delegate. Delegate EVERYTHING, including direction. Nominate sub-leaders! Worked for me. Let's hope I'm not in that position again though. Sounds like you're having a very interesting week, BP!
posted on: June 29
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Marilyn says:
Ah, grasshopper, the peanut butter test vexes us always, does it not? At least it does me, speaking as one who's currently whoring herself to the LOWEST business bidder. In the synchronicity universe, you'd be staying in my boss's daughter's room, but I suppose that's too much to hope for (synchronicity-wise). I hate that feeling when others have (in my case, wrongly) assumed I know what the fuck I'm doing...and yet...there's a perverse pleasure in somehow being able to pull it off...like getting a gold medal in the Fake Olympics. As for the food, and speaking from the land of cruise ships, I'm not so sure I imagine cruise ship food as being 'gourmet' (not that I'd know)...but if it was I'd don't think I'd see all these huge people waddling down my neighborhood beach. Please keep us tuned as the week progresses...lovin' this! And with you, BP, NO flavor has to be added back in...you just got it flowin', girl!
posted on: June 29
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Art says:
The job takes care of the finances...let your 80+ acres and beautiful flowers take care of the artistry.
I enjoyed the post.
posted on: June 29
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wee says:
just so you know... peanut butter goes best with raspberry jam. REAL raspberry jam, the kind with seeds that get stuck oh-so-attractively in your teeth, causing you to stick your fingers inelegantly in your mouth to try to root them outta your molars. This effect looks particularly fetching when, unbeknowest to you, the entire class/office/world is watching you, impatiently awaiting a reply to to the question ou did not hear because ou were so busy savoring your PB&J sandwich and mining for raspberry seeds. Not that I would know from personal experience or anything.
posted on: June 29
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wee says:
um...here's a handful of Ys. Y,y,y,y. Sprinkle liberally over previous message, shaking gently until the settle in front of the mysterious "ou"s there, thuus creating the word "you" and making it appear that I'm far less an idiot than I in fact am. Thank you.
posted on: June 29
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Zoot says:
Heh. You're the group leader? Thats awesome! And I want a tote bag. You know what? I wish I had been an art major too. Blah.
posted on: June 29
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Sparkmonkey says:
I saw this man this weekend, in Cambridge. You may recognize him. He is the "Legalize Hemp" dude. Happiest looking guy on the planet, he was. I watched him pack up and ride his trike in circles before heading out, with the puppets and poles dangling from the side. He was singing. I don't think he would want a 7,000plus bag. Unless it was stuffed with hemp, heh.
I have a degree. I never use it. I had a job unil a month ago. Now I am writing, doing my art and spending the summer decompressing. If I were corporate I would never have the chance to do this. Or maybe I just would never choose to do this. Some paths suck you in and never spit you back out again.
I do wish I had gone to art school though. *Le Sigh*
posted on: June 29
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yogagirl says:
know what's even scarier? not only is New Jersey the hub for the flavor industry it's also where the most toxicology labs in the united states are located. you know the ones that put pesticides on animals' skins and in their eyes to test how dangerous they are??
the fact the flavor industry is located there as well really creeps me OUT now. ewwww.
posted on: June 29
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finelyspungirl says:
Hey now, blue...no slagging cruise ships. Food is available, but they aren't plying you with it and I remember it being rather healthy stuff. It was only the dinners that were gourmet and they were quite good. Went with my family when I was a kid (kids under 16 were free, and my brother and I turned 16 on the boat, haha, suckers!), to the Carribean, on a Norwegian ship, where the 'special night dinner' was greek food. It was quite fun and I would definitely go on another cruise ship tour in the future. So, yeah, just wanted to let ya know:)
posted on: June 29
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gimmy says:
I knew that about Jersey, oddly enough. That tidbit was featured in Fast Food Nation. Awesome book. Highly recommended.
posted on: June 29
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pastamasta says:
Flying by the seat of my pants is a skill I have honed over many years, to the point where my boxer shorts now actually have a pilot's licence. I have a talent for being dropped in at the deep end, too, and am now taking swimming lessons.
P.S. The perfect way to eat peanut butter is on lightly-toasted thick white bread (none of that healthy whole-grain crap for me, please), spread in the following order:
- butter (lightly salted Danish, for preference)
- peanut butter (chunky)
- apricot jam
- cream cheese
Heavenly.
posted on: June 30
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