My husband and I have been communicating. Muy bueno!

Apparently there was a time when we were not communicating. Perhaps this surprises you. Perhaps you thought we were communicating as there was much with the talking and frequent with the little phone calls throughout each day. Perhaps my grammatical atrociousness is an indication of my problematic communication skills.

Lesson one: talking is not communicating. Who knew?

So if I have to communicate my true feelings, be honest and forthright and blah blah blah with him, then wtf?I might as well do the same with all of you, non?

Okay then?consider that a preface. We need to talk.

Survivor. A new season has begun and I am feeling, hmm what?s the word?

Conflicted? Ambivalent? Wary? Primed for disappointment? Shame?

In a word, not good. (Okay that?s two words?do you not see what a challenge this ?communication? is for me?)

As you may know, for some time now years we have been getting together with friends to watch this show. For unknown reasons this happy ritual has been the aspic that wraps around our friendship and binds us tight.

The dinners are often elaborate, the Belgian/English chocolate ever plentiful and the conversations sparkling (Fine. You want ?communication?? I lie. It?s usually rubbish but we laugh alot).

However, the show itself is distressing to me on so many levels.

1. That I regularly watch a ?reality? tv show.

2. That ?reality? tv shows dominate the American consciousness (I would list them all here but truly, TOO MANY TO COUNT).

3. All of the ?reality? shows are about surviving and being the sole survivor (Bachelor, Bachelorette, American Idol, Survivor, Top Model, Project Runway etc. See I listed them?I?m scaring myself.)

4. Are our lives so comfortable that we need to feel the edge of struggle?

5. Are we doomed to the masculine, linear alpha dog pack society for all time?

6. Last week these IDIOT freaking women voted out the most wonderful, hard-working woman who knew how to chop wood, build a fire, catch fish! And they kept a woman who is afraid of moving leaves because ?there could be bugs under them.?

There. That is my wound. Made doubly painful because how ridiculous is my life that I spend ANY amount of time caring how a stupid tv show pans out?

And while I'm pondering-- isn't this desperatation either for money or the fame that will bring money reminiscent of another desperate time in our history? But I digress. So, to recap.

I must express how I feel.

Ergo, I feel yucky about what I watch but really good about what I eat before I watch it and with whom I?m watching it.

Forsooth!

got 2 cents?