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October 26, 2004 2:31 PM- my so-called-shite day
Do you feel that?
That is RELIEF-- huge huge relief, people. And the reason you are feeling it is I did not post yesterday. Had I posted yesterday, you probably wouldn't be here because chances are you would never return to this site ever, ever again.
What could explain my utter wretched hateful self yesterday? Hormones, surely. A surfeit of people around me who are accountable for nothing (yet nonplussed), incompetent (yet mouthy) and stupid, undoubtedly. A letter from the "conservation nazis" wanting to chat about our property development, oh yeah. (Shoot a bullet of fear into the dead center of my heart, why don't you?)
And when I say hateful, please know I mean POISONOUS. In fact, after two meetings where I could do nothing but point out every missing detail, give the evil eye to every software programmer who was lollygagging along and not hitting deadlines, and give the project manager a public flogging (don't you wish you worked with me?-- oh the joy of it)--I did what anyone else in my situation should do, I went home. I just grabbed my bags and drove my sorry ass back to my rental house where I crawled onto the couch and pulled my two dogs on top of me and slept for 18 hours. T tried to comfort me and I bit his hand off like the wolf I am.
Or was, because today? Is much better. Clear skies, hot sun--- and? I got my hair cut. And I LIKE it. See-- that's all it takes really. Of course, maybe it was all the heroin I mainlined before I went to sleep. Either way, today I feel so much better and yesterday-- I wanted to die. Isn't it amazing how it is all in our fucking heads? Nothing around me is one bit different. The engineers are always late and unapologetic, the project manager can't grip her ass with two hands, and the vps are all idiots--- and most days, I just go along tra la laaaaa. And then somedays, I explode because it is all so wrong and I don't want to be here and I can't seem to get my ducks in a row to sort out my fucking life. And then, I wake up, smack myself about the head a couple of times and head to work.
Anyway--- that's all I had to share. Cheerio.
got 2 cents?
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Sheryl says:
Change the target of your vitriol, and I could have written this post. Except that I don't have the good sense to stay away from my blog on days like today. And I can empathize with your "I want to die" sentiments. Please don't die. It's nothing but selfishness on my part, but the world would not be the same without you.
posted on: October 26
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Marilyn says:
The PM may not be able to grab her ass with both hands, but you my dear can do a one-armed pull-up. So YOU ROCK!!! And as such a rockin' woman, you're entitled to a PMS moment or two. And, yes, isn't it lovely that all it takes to make it all okay is the RIGHT HAIRCUT?! :)
posted on: October 26
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Shiz says:
Whoa, I can so relate.
Some days lately everything has sucked with a capital "S". And I feel like I'm inside out. I'm clawing my skin. Others, those sucky things don't seem to matter and all is well. And the good things shine through.
So strange, so strange.
posted on: October 26
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finelyspungirl says:
I've been feeling like this a lot lately. In limbo, and down in the dumps, and angry. Not a fun fun feeling at all, no siree. Hugs!
posted on: October 26
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Margaret says:
Oh, I feel that too. Some days the computer could BURN UP if I wrote what is in my gut. So, I try to get some distance and perspective. (and nag at my family who have to love me just because!)
posted on: October 26
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Very Mom says:
I needed two dogs to sleep under yesterday. I didn't think the blogosphere deserved any of my poisonous hate either. I can blame some of it on hormones, but it was all a record amount of angriness yesterday.
posted on: October 27
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lizardek says:
Sleeping under 2 dogs for 18 hours ought to cure just about anyone. In fact, sleeping for 18 hours alone ought to do it! Hope today goes better, my dear!!
posted on: October 27
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stephanie says:
Why is it that my mood is great before and after going to work, but the evil sucks the joy out of me when I walk in the door? Why?
posted on: October 27
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Katherine says:
yes, yes, yes . . . there are many reasons I surround myself with kitties . . . and your post makes me wish I could have fedexed you one - just in case the canine needed a little feline :) and yes, yes, yes, isn't it amazing what a day can do? this too shall pass . . . :)
posted on: October 27
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yogagirl says:
WORD poppy...WORD. I get like that sometimes and I just hate it. It's like I'm trapped in a grumpy body and can't escape..want to..but can't. I loathe days like that. So glad the world looks better today.
posted on: October 27
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teahouseblossom says:
Hey, I used to have mood swings like that!!
Then I discovered drinking. And Xanax.
posted on: October 27
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Chrishawn says:
I am sorry to hear about your horrible day yesterday; but glad you are feeling so much better today.
I can so totally relate to days like these. Although I don't work outside the home (but in the home!), people can stukk get on your.last.freakin.nerves!!
A new haircut? You totally rock. As usual. Rock on, BP!!
posted on: October 28
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Chrishawn says:
What is "stukk"??? Ugh, I meant STILL. Typing too fast. Sorry.
posted on: October 28
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frecklegirl says:
Um yeah. I am in a funk today myself... it is not my fault though! (I exclaim!) Mean people keep bothering me.
Maybe I should get a haircut. I love that fresh haircut feeling.
Congrats on yours! :)
posted on: October 28
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Chris says:
Glad today's a better day. As for the mainlining heroin? Perhaps the haircut is less satisfying but healthier in the long run. Of course before a day full of meetings? Can't hurt.
posted on: October 28
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baby jane says:
glad to know I'm not the only one who has kicked all those bad moods out the door! Thank goodness for the butterscotch boys.
posted on: October 29
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bellabelly says:
tuesday was that day for me. my husband is now wearing a prosthetic head, and I am picking bits of army beret out of my back teeth.
posted on: October 29
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Sarcomical says:
see? a good haircut/color will make the world a better place.
also, getting some sleep and the chance to wake up with a new perspective. the mind is a wondrous and powerful thing. ;)
posted on: October 29
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Sorry, comments are now closed.
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