This is just a quickie to let you know we have completed the Seventh Circle of Hell ride--- don't they have that at your amusement park? Oh, too bad. It really is such fun.

First, you come home on a Friday night from work and you walk around your house saying, oh my god, how could I have left EVERYTHING to the last weekend? Then you make a pot of coffee and pack out the top two floors of the house. You go to bed Friday night, tired, but rather pleased with yourself because, you know?, it really wasn't so horrible and everything is just fine.

Saturday morning you wake up and here's where the ride that is the SEVENTH CIRCLE of HELL really starts giving you your money's worth. You are dead tired. You used up all your brave-I-can-do-this energy the night before and what you really want to do is sleep in until 8 or 9.

Ha ha ha hahahahahahahhaha.

You go downstairs into the kitchen and you collapse onto the floor as you realize every cupboard must be emptied of every blessed thing and every blessed thing must be handled by you either to be packed or tossed or (THE DREADED) emptied and cleaned and put into the recycling bin.

But you do it. You have a mantra. It goes like this, "this is the only move of my life, this is the only move of my life." And somehow, you make it through the day while simoultaneously doing laundry and keeping the dogs from killing themselves.

When you fall into bed Saturday night, your exhaustion defies description. It also defies sleep. Despite SLEEP being all you crave, your body has been so hyped up and over-caffeinated that you lie in bed and see all the work still left to be done in the single day of Sunday. Yet, oddly enough, you still believe it can all be done on Sunday and that you will be back at work on Monday.

Ha ha ha hahahahahahhahahahha

Sunday morinng, the Seventh Circle of Hell swoops you through the bathroom where you gaze longingly at the great big bathtub where your aching muscles would so love to soak themselves, but instead you empty the cabinets of every STUPID hair product and skin product you ever bought and never used but cannot throw away since they cost SO MUCH STUPID MONEY but you know you will never use them since if you were ever going to use them you would have already used them, but still they packed and sent forward. Because, you know, beauty products NEVER DIE. Not in the Seventh Circle of Hell.

Sometime Sunday. In the evening. Actually, quite late in the evening, you wander out into the barn that T has been laboring to empty for FOUR WEEKS and still you must avert your eyes because there is no way, especially not in the Seventh Circle of Hell, that this barn will ever be emptied or clear of the HUNDREDS of paint cans, THOUSANDS of screws, nails, tools etc. or the EQUIPMENTS that is covered in sawdust and too heavy for 8 lumberjacks to move.

With your eyes averted, you say, "I think I won't be going in to work tomorrow." To which he replies, "you sure?"

Oh yes, I am sure. Seeing as WE ARE SO NOT DONE moving. Oh my god.

Two hours later, as I am about to head to bed where I pray I will be hit on the head before hitting my pillow so I can be unconscious--deeply, deeply unconscious-- I go back into the barn, eyes averted, and say, "do you think we should get a moving van for tomorrow? You know, maybe a U-haul?" And he replies, "I was thinking about that. Yeah, it's probably not a bad idea."

Do you see now? Has it all been made clear to you? WE ARE THE INSANE people. People of the INSANE. Surely Steven King has written about us. People who are moving and only decide to rent a moving van THE LAST NIGHT THEY ARE IN THEIR HOUSE.

But we did rent the van. We loaded it all day Monday. We delivered it to our rental house in the dark Monday night. I proceeded to crash. T made himself another coffee and WENT BACK to the barn and continued working until midnight. Came back to the rental and collapsed. Slept till 6 am. We got up-- he packed the last of the barn stuff out. I picked up my car and drove back to the rental (I had called in another day off . .) and was ready to get some rest when I realized-- I needed to be at the CLOSING! At 10 am.

And I am paid to organize people? Truly?

But we closed-- easy peasey-- cash deal, no lawyers, no real estate agents. Sweet.

Came back to our rental that will be our home for the next 10 months and unpacked the rental van (could I have made the boxes ANY HEAVIER? Could I have possibly put dumbbells in the bottom of EVERY box so as to maximize their weight and sheer un-liftability?) return it. And then, the ride ended. The Seventh Circle of Hell spit us back into regular life. And here I am.

But let me just say-- never never never again. That was the only move of my life. *spits on palm* But also let me say thanks to the travel angels-- we had clear, gorgeous weather every day (no rain) and aside from blisters, splinters and sore muscles, we had NO injuries! Blessed be.

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