April 23, 2010 5:07 PM- a sideways glance

photo credit: Denise Andrade

Dear Reader,

I like to think of myself as a straight-forward, honesty at all costs, kind of person-- but the truth is, I have been holding out on you.

Yes, not cheating--no! Never that-- there's no other blog I am pouring myself into, I promise-- just that my life right now is actually undergoing some rather big (some might say gigantic, but as I am not prone to hyperbole-- okay I lie, I grow hyperbole from seed in windowsill planters) changes, but it may be a while before I can share it all here with you.

And, alack and alas, it's never that simple with me. Instead of being able to focus on just one earth-changing development-- I happen to be engaged in two creative collaborations at the moment that are ringing me out like church bells on New Year's day-- let's just say my ears hurt.

That and my heart.

The eye of the storm is having his way with me right now (and can we just say, if the eye of the storm sidles up to you at the bar and offers to buy you a drink RUN AWAY-- do not get involved with the eye of the storm-- there's your dating tip of the day-- you're welcome!) and until he tosses me out on the stoop and I gather myself up to head down to the bakery for a cup of coffee and the chance to reconcile my thoughts-- it's all I can do to keep on keeping on.

Meantime, here's a disclosure for you: you know how I read The New Yorker every week? Well, what you probably didn't know is I gloss, nay-- I veritably SAIL across the poetry.

I might read the title, or a line or two before I dismiss it outright and move on. It's safe to say, I do not read The New Yorker for its poetry.

However, this week-- wow, was there ever one that cut me off at the pass and had me swinging by a fingernail from the guardrails. Here it is-- I cannot even put into words how much this speaks directly to where I am right now.


Don't do it, the guidebook says,
if you're lost. Then it goes on
to talk about something else,
taking the easy way out,
which of course is what water does
as a matter of course always
taking whatever turn
the earth has told it to
while and since it was born,
including flowing over
the edge of a waterfall
or simply disappearing
underground for a long dark time
before it reappears
as a spring so far away
from where you thought you were
and where you think you are
it might never occur
to you to imagine where
that could be as you go downhill.
~ David Wagoner

photo credit: Denise Andrade

Bisous, E

P.S. Noel sent this along to me and I think you will enjoy it--

got 2 cents?

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melissa says:
Big hugs! I know all about the heart hurting. Know that I'm hear if you need anything...xxoo
posted on: April 23

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Susan says:
Being totally dense, as you know, I totally cannot figure out if this means something good, or not so good. I certainly hope that it is good like maybe you will be replacing James Levine as creative director of the Metropolitan Opera -- not really, but something of similar importance.
posted on: April 23

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bp says:
ha ha Susan-- it's all good-- big change, but good-- but not directing any operas (except in my living room, obvs)
posted on: April 24

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Megsie says:
First of all, that video is AMAZING. The deer around here run at the slightest "woof." Second of all, I am really excited to here about all of these secrets that you are keeping! I really CAN'T WAIT! And, Thirdly, I know change is difficult. Transitions, with all of the figuring out and all. I am sort of like Susan, totally dense, because of the poem. From what I know about you, my dear, is that you never take the easy way out. May I remind you of your New Year's quote about saying yes? The one that haunts me at every twist and turn of my life (thankyouverymuch). So, I can only imagine that you are doing the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest right about now. Sending you warmth and strength and a bit of oxygen as you climb to the summit. Oh, and sending lots of love and hugs too. xoxo
posted on: April 24

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DiaryofWhy says:
Beautiful and heart-warming--all of it! (Deer, dog, poem, photos.)
posted on: April 24

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michelle says:
posted on: April 24

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Margaret says:
Mon dieu!! I had that poet (David Wagoner) as a prof at UW for creative writing. OMG.
posted on: April 24

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stef says:
loving and supporting you from afar! xoxo
posted on: April 24

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jill nalette says:
ooooo elizabeth, i can't wait til we all can find out what is going on for you. love the poem and the beautiful women in those amazing photos. xo and smiles~ jill
posted on: April 26

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Swirly says:
I love you.
posted on: April 27

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