July 28, 2010 6:33 PM- dawdling at the speed of light

One thing about blogging-- time sure flies in between hypothetical posts.

You see, I had a post for you-- it even had a title (okay, okay-- you know me too well, it ONLY had a title) but the title was all I needed to be able to sit down here and let loose. The title was my catapault.

Problem is, I'm living at the edge of a waterfall these days and just when I think I'm gonna tell you all about the eddy that has built up behind a few rocks and a clump of leaves-- whoosh. I've dropped down three levels and am now floating in a giant pool where there's nothing really to comment on except to relive the drop over and over and go-- man, that's why people pay good money for rollercoasters. What a rush to the head.

What I thought I would be telling you about was my latest lessons in humility-- how if I thought I was going to leave this planet with a shred of hubris still intact it seems my higher guide has signed me up for the "brazilian"-- there will be no trace left of hubris on the surface of this soul, I assure you.

a clothesline for Marilyn

How it is exactly that my brain comes up with these lofty plans and expects to manifest them with a mere flip of my wrist but without any practical experience and then, has the gall to be unprepared when it turns out that my oh so flippant flip of the wrist actually turns on the fan that will spray the room with, um, rabbit pellets-- well, let's just say, my brain, she should not be driving the bus.

My brain should be parked under an apple tree and consulted only on questions pertaining to how long a bagel should remain in the toaster, best way to pour hot water over a tea bag, and other such things. Under no circumstances should my brain be allowed to take on major, collaborative projects most especially when they involve overseas shipments.

Isn't that right, Henry?

HENRY: Oh noo, don't be pulling my name into this. I made the good choice this lifetime. I'm a dog. My biggest challenge is deciding which side of the road to walk down.

HENRY: I'm thinking I'm gonna walk over there where the sunflowers are.

So yeah, it's been quite dramatic in its ups and downs.

Some days feel so incredibly good it doesn't seem possible to soak it all in. Other days, well-- other days make me think of William Wallace right after they have disemboweled him but just before they begin drawing and quartering him-- that acute moment right there.

Mostly I am trying to see and understand how I create these situations and learn all I can so that I can get more of a 90/10 balance . . 90% wowza gold / 10% whaddyagonna do it's life suck it up.

In other news, my niece Lauren came BACK again last weekend<--! and helped me transform the little porch that is the entrance to my apartment. The space was quite stultifying and filled with spiders and god knows what.

Imagine a dark, (oh so VERY dark) pine green paint and then imagine that paint on every surface, floor, stairs, bannister, walls--- stultifying, yes?

Then, imagine your darling niece comes up and after a rousing session with broom, shop vac and a few horrifed screams thrown in for good measure- spiders and whatnot are gone and fresh paint is slapped into place.

Voila--- white white white with a bit of blue, some soft green stair treads and a painted rug.

It's all good--- everything is happening exactly as it is supposed to and I am gonna get to my 90/10 . . or maybe 85/15. Either way, it's all part of something I don't even understand-- my job is just to keep showing up and keep seeing all that is possible. All that is beautiful. (And yes, keep my brain parked in that chair under the appletree, strictly forbidden to launch any new zany capers-- a sort of country-style house arrest, as it were).

Nobody gets a life manual (isn't that right, Thea?) even if some people might look to us as if they are just sailing along like lucky ducks. We're all muddling through as best we can.

Some of us ( meaning me<---, obvs) are just putting a bit more mud in the muddling, that's all.

But look!-- tiny pink flowers that peek out from under my porch steps.

And finally, a place for my sun, moon and stars which has never had a home (just sat inside my studio closet for years) and now looks like it was made for that exact space where it now sits-- which is at the bottom of the landing of my stairs as I walk outside each morning.

Bisous, E

got 2 cents?

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Carolyn says:
oh, waterfalls. yes, waterfalls.... enjoy the ride, and the floating after. (Henry's got the best face.) (Love that niece of yours. Wish I could adopt her.)
posted on: July 28

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melissa says:
yes we are all just muddling through but you, you are creating magic...even if you can't see if right now! xo
posted on: July 28

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Megsie says:
I agree with Melissa--you are pure magic. And I am muddling right along with you. I totally get that whole pool before you are flung over part. But the muddling, is that not the best learning? I have been stagnant for so long, that the muddling is invigorating! (um. today.) Sending you a great big hug. xo Oh, and I love your porch...and your moon/sun/star!
posted on: July 28

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lizardek says:
I think your brain and my brian should get together and go bowling.
posted on: July 29

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bp says:
ha ha lizardek! as long as YOUR brain does the score card-- that is WAY beyond what my brain can manage . . and thanks Carolyn, Melissa and Megsie-- y'all are so sweet-- can I tell you that I am typing to you FROM MY APARTMENT THAT NOW HAS INTERNET-- oh happy day---
posted on: July 29

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Carolyn says:
Cool! You brought light into dark corners, moved the sun, moon, and stars, and voilĂ ? Interconnection! You rock! I'd like to adopt you and your niece.
posted on: July 29

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sherry says:
Nothing wrong with a few mud pies while your muddling. That rug is fantastic!
posted on: July 29

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jill nalette says:
you are simply amazing, elizabeth!! beautiful post with beautiful photo's. xo and smiles~ jill
posted on: July 29

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Cupckake says:
Your new home is truly beautiful. I'm glad that it's feeding your soul and that you are happy here. The dogs too look content. I don't know what got you to this newest beautiful destination, but whatever it was, it's a journey filled with apple trees, or at least one.
posted on: July 29

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darlene says:
you are the magic maker ... and surrounded by so much beauty!!! i love that sweet little porch ~ have a beautiful weekend love and trust in the process that brings in light xoxox
posted on: July 30

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Megsie says:
Just thinking about you tonight. Hope you have had a nice day today. Wanted you to know that you have had a profound impact on my life, and I thank you.
posted on: July 30

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stef says:
oh, what a beautiful space for you and I love the moon and stars artwork --xoxo
posted on: July 30

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Marilyn says:
if ever i loved the title of a post, it's this one. and how did you know clotheslines have been on my brain/heart for days?? (well, of course you knew.) ;) re your sun, moon, stars...i love those moments when something that's been tucked away (and sometimes they're not even tangible somethings) is finally brought out to its rightful (at least for right now) place...because it's often accompanied by that AHA! moment of...oh, i see...this was waiting for me all along. ;) sending you much love and light as you...and your new space...blossom into all that is meant to be. xo
posted on: July 31

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Icepagema says:
Hello folks, I am looking for a good love spells web site, I know this sounds weird or funny, but I'm desperate. Please, no jokes. Would anyone recommend a trustworthy website? Thanks :(
posted on: August 01

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