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June 28, 2010 6:24 AM- there's nowhere to go, but through
HENRY: Good morning!
DAISY: Hey. Some of us are still sleeping here!
HENRY: It's her rudeness that fatigues me.
Outside is gray and rain. The generator runs as we will be making no solar power
today.
Inside is quiet.
A big change, you may be thinking from my last few 'blissed out' posts-- and yes, the
energy here is quite different from a holiday on the beach.
You see, on Wednesday, I am moving out of Soliden.
This past Spring, T and I decided to end our marriage.
There it is . . the information I have been meaning to share, but never finding the
right time or the right way to put it out there. The fact is, there is never a right
time or a right way to share sad news.
For anyone who has followed along in this blog you know that T and I have had a great
partnership and a great love. This is absolutely true. In fact, as we worked through this shocking
change over the past three months, I was struck again and again by how much kindness,
compassion, understanding and genuine love we extended to one another as we navigated
terrain that was so painful I honestly can't put it into words. Something between a
car accident and a death, I suppose.
Yes, a death.
Of course there are reasons why we came to this decision and perhaps in the future I
will explore some of that, but for right now, this is where I am at. This is why I
have been so absent here and so rather scattered. This is what is going on with
me.
And, I apologize for the shock this may cause anyone reading here today. There are
many of you, I know, who have genuine affection for me, for T and for the brombie
mob. I don't wish to cause you any discomfort and yet, I can only imagine this might
trigger memories and feelings of your own heartaches, your own sorrows and for that I
am sorry.
If there were a good way, a right way, an easy way to do this-- I wasn't able to find
it. I am moving gingerly, slowly and doing all I can not to cause harm, but it seems
sometimes there is no avoiding pain-- there is only moving through it.
Bisous, E
P.S. For the time being, I will be living about 25 minutes from Soliden with Henry
and Daisy-- Ollie will be here with T. Of course, they will all get to be together
on a very regular basis. And so it goes--
got 2 cents?
• • • •
Jazz says:
Oh hell.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
veronica says:
I'm so sorry for what you and T are going through. I hope beautiful things await you both on the other side.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Megsie says:
A death. Yes. I am so sorry.
But, the sun shall rise again. Hugs to you.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Sam says:
You know I am crying, right? My heart is so full for BOTH of you. (and the puppies, too) Of course I hold great affection for T and more love for YOU than you will ever know. I am crying because you are leaving Soliden, too. I know it is magic, but I know that you make anywhere you live magical. That's just who you are. I love you and am wishing you both the very best as you go through this difficult time.
But I just hate it.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
bella says:
Sending you love. "Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light"~Jean Giraudoux
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Mandee says:
So terribly sorry!
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Sam says:
You know I am crying, right? My heart is so full for BOTH of you. (and the puppies, too) Of course I hold great affection for T and more love for YOU than you will ever know. I am crying because you are leaving Soliden, too. I know it is magic, but I know that you make anywhere you live magical. That's just who you are. I love you and am wishing you both the very best as you go through this difficult time.
But I just hate it.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
darlene says:
sending you all much love as you navigate your way through the shadowed forest as the light finds its way beautifully dappled in hearts life. hugs and peace beauty, xo
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Bridgemor says:
The end of anything so cherished and loved is never easy and always painful. Yes I have wondered why there have been long absences from the BP blog. I thought you were busy with painting the world with color and love, but would never have thought this was the reason. If my arms were long enough I would hug you but I am in my thoughts. As you move through this difficult journey may compassion be held in your heart for you and T to ease some of the pain. Love for you and your little family.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
pixie says:
honey, i'm so sorry to hear about this loss. i can't imagine what making this change is like for you and T, but i trust you are finding ways to be strong about it that you didn't know you could. i love you, bp....
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Claire says:
*holding back tears* You're amazing. Sending you all much, much love x
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Marilyn says:
oh, E, sending you so much LOVE and LIGHT and HUGS. xo
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Carolyn says:
(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
posted on: June 28
• • • •
jen gray says:
my brave and beautiful friend, you and T are loved dearly and supported fully by so many.....after the rain has fallen, and the skies clear, you both will find a new way of being and new kind of peace that will fit perfectly with your individual hearts... i promise. I love you, I am here, and I love you, and I love you .
posted on: June 28
• • • •
linda e says:
Change is the process by which the future intrudes upon your life. xox
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Michelle Shopped says:
I don't like that I knew this was coming...and as for death, the phone rang as I was reading this -- Uncle Phil to tell me Auntie Jean had died of a stroke...there will always be sadness but thankfully there will always be joy to balance it...xo
posted on: June 28
• • • •
*michelle says:
...let go with love...
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Heather says:
Oh man. I went through this six years ago. It's never easy.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
melissa says:
yes, you can only move through it. and know that you have lots of love being sent your way. xo
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Accidental Poet says:
Oh I am just heartsick for you both.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
La Phoenicienne says:
As always, I wish the 5 of you the very best in everything, but especially with this huge change. Hugs.
posted on: June 28
• • • •
Amy says:
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began...--Mary Oliver. Good or bad, change is never easy but we can all rest assured that each day the sun will rise again. You will endure and move through this difficult time with all the grace and light you move through life with always. Peace to you and to T.
posted on: June 29
• • • •
Dave (the husband formerly known as T) says:
I would like to extend my warm wishes and a big thank you to all of you who have followed and supported BP throughout the extraordinary life of this blog. It has been an amazing experience to be a witness to this steady outpouring of understanding, acceptance, curiosity, and love. May you all find peace and prosperity as you navigate the glorious and maddening terrain that is this life. I hope you all know that the doors of Soliden are forever open to you. Secret password: "We love BP!"
posted on: June 29
• • • •
lindsey says:
wrapping you in hugs as well. i'm a late comer to this site but have fallen completely.
xo
posted on: June 29
• • • •
NJSue says:
Delurking to send warm thoughts on this gray day. Please know that your faithful readers are thinking of you...
posted on: June 29
• • • •
Jacqueline says:
I am sending you healing energy so that every breath will bring you closer to yourself.
posted on: June 29
• • • •
Lauren says:
Oh Elizabeth. I am with you and holding you. Navigating a new road is never easy but remember that you have so many people behind you, supporting you. Love to you and the puppies and T.
posted on: June 29
• • • •
Chris says:
The minute I saw the post title I knew it was something bad. I am so sorry to read this. Ending a marriage is a sadness unlike any other - perhaps not better or worse - just different. I wish you peace and calm and that whatever you need to get through this comes to you quickly.
posted on: June 29
• • • •
Barb says:
Oh, "E"!! I'm so sorry.
I divorced 31 years ago. In hindsight, I wish that we'd put more effort into finding a solution that brought us together instead of driving us apart.
I've only come to your blog recently and don't know your husband at all.
I do know and love the dogs, though. I'm heartbroken that they're being separated too.
I hope you come to a place that brings peace and happiness and contentment to all of you.
Hugs (and blessings).
Barb
posted on: June 29
• • • •
gretchen says:
The sun will shine again, dearest one... it will shine again.
Sending love and hugs ... and keeping you in my prayers,
xoxo
posted on: June 29
• • • •
mary lawrence says:
so sorry you are going through this bp...sending warm and loving thoughts to you, T and the Brombies.
xoxo
posted on: June 29
• • • •
Ashwini says:
I don't understand.
posted on: June 29
• • • •
DiaryofWhy says:
I can't imagine being concerned for the feelings of my readers when going through something like this. You truly are a warm and wonderful soul. Of course we are shocked and sad for you. We will be thinking about you and supporting you and rooting for you all the way. Wishing you all the best, BP.
posted on: June 30
• • • •
tinker says:
Having navigated a somewhat similar rocky path almost literally a lifetime ago (with quite a bit of stumbling, wrong turns, cursing and sadly, occasional rock-throwing along the way), my heart goes out to you all...along with my utmost admiration for your tender consideration and compassion for one another - and even towards your friends and readers. You are both amazing. Wishing all the best for you both. Sending love and light to all of you, always. xo
posted on: June 30
• • • •
Susan says:
I would not wish for you the unhappiness and uncertainty this change must bring you,
but you are so fortunate to seem to have found a way for both of you to begin to seek
a happier future, and you know I only want
good things to happen for you.
posted on: July 01
• • • •
amy says:
May you find much peace in this decision, and cherish the memories of your past. Now, dance in the space you've created for yourself. Sending you much love and light.
xxox
posted on: July 03
• • • •
kate says:
Sending such big love to you E--
transitions often suck ass, but sometimes they are exactly what we need to become our next selves.
Dave rocks, his comment made me teary.
please know and feel how supported you are-
I am so sorry for your grief, I only know from my own experience how deep it can go....and I am also so excited for all of the possibilities that are open before you.
with big smooshy love,
Kate
posted on: July 04
• • • •
lisa says:
you have such grace. beautiful grace. warmth and gratitude and grace just radiate from your words.
posted on: July 05
• • • •
jenica says:
wrapping you in loooooove. xoxo
posted on: July 05
• • • •
judy wise says:
I've missed a few weeks of your blog and look at what happens when I turn my back. I love both you and T and wish you both strength and love as you negotiate your new paths. And yes, I feel sad but it is a good sad, a tribute to a good love.
posted on: July 06
• • • •
sherry says:
Leaving a comment seems fruitless as nothing comes to mind. The silence I feel after reading this news blocks all thoughts. I cannot lie, the sadness I feel stumbles me. If the pain and tears I feel lessen your pain, then so be it.
posted on: July 14
• • • •
lizardek says:
Catching up and though I knew the news, it was still sad to read it: so final. I hold you both in my heart, you know. And the dogs. And Soliden. But I can't wait to see what you come up with next.
posted on: July 17
• • • •
stef says:
oh, wow, i'm sorry E - I've been in and out and obviously missed this big news. I send you so much love and wrap you up with goodness...xoxoxo
posted on: July 30
• • • •
Croila says:
Ohhhhhh no. I have not visited here for some time, since you last said you were closing the blog, and when I found you again today I was absolutely delighted to see you writing in here again. But then, I get to this post, and ... Oh BP, I don't know what to say.
Other than, maybe, HOW LIKE YOU to be thinking of everyone else and apologising for the shock this may cause readers. So many others in this situation would be wallowing in their own misery, yet here you are, worrying about how it will dredge up memories for others!
I'm saddened to hear your news, and sad to hear you moved from Soliden as I followed closely all your writings about the build of it. But a house is a house, and as someone else said above, you'd make an amazing home anywhere I'll bet. Keep strong, BP. You'll never be alone!
posted on: August 08
• • • •
Sorry, comments are now closed.
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