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December 18, 2005 4:48 PM- snowed under

It's all in the preposition, non?

Snowed in. Snowed under.

I literally spent 22 hours on the computer since yesterday morning creating four photobooks and in this moment I NEVER want to take, modify, upload or in any other way engage with digital photographs again. Gah.

But seriously? Except for the numbness in my right arm, I love technology, specifically the land of photoshop, digital media, etc. She be wicked fun. I just wish I weren't being assaulted with random waves of guilt/anxiety/agitation, however. JESUS. Would my mind just shut off already?

We had a party to go to last night that I blew off, cause I was, you know still working on that damn *$*#@)@*#$ book that I thought I was gonna finish at about 2 pm. So as I plodded through my 183 photographs (culled from about oh, I don't know 600 gabillion) my stomach would just knot and un-knot as I worried about not going to this party.

Did I say I don't want interference from the pharma friends? Please! Interference stat.

And then this morning-- oh god. I'll stop-- let me just wrap it all up for you-- family crap (mine!), family arriving here a week from Saturday (his!-- hi Sarah--if you're reading this-- you know I can't wait to see you!) and our furniture is still in storage, there are still big projects that need to get finished, and blah blah the HELL blah blah.

Here is all you need to know: T and I took a walk with our dogs today. The snow was deep and lovely. Great fun was had by all.

May you know nothing of this stupid, human, self-generated angst-- may I have absorbed it all for all of you so that this week and into the new year you know only



got 2 cents?



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lizardek says:
May your stupid, human, self-generated angst blow away with the winter solstice. *blows it away*
posted on: December 18

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Lauren says:
Oh how I wish you could spare me from holiday angst. what a dream.
posted on: December 18

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teahouseblossom says:
When I was a kid I thought snow was so beautiful. And in adulthood, I've started cursing it because it means a slushy and slow commute. But I think there's something to be said for going back to the wonder of childhood. Snow is beautiful...
posted on: December 18

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bella says:
I've got a cocktail party to plan... no cocktails, no munchies.. I'm just letting it all slide until Friday. Holidays need to end. Now.
posted on: December 19

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samantha says:
There's so much social activity during the holidays, you can't possibly attend everything...so send that angst for a nice little walk in the snow, make sure he doesn't wear any mittens now... sending you lots of love, and I love your peace,joy, and love blocks...
posted on: December 19

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Lil says:
I hear you on the angst. One year I will have the holidays I truly want. There will be no family obligations, just tons of movies, M's margaritas, popcorn, and going over to friends' places rather than everyone always coming to ours.
posted on: December 19

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Heather says:
I hereby invite you to my THANKGODTHEHOLIDAYSAREOVER party January 28th. Don't you think everyone needs one of those?
posted on: December 19

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stephanie says:
Um, what? You put off a party to do what? For Shame. My RX: bottle of wine (or more), dvd of Bad Santa, one set of lost car keys. That'll get you in the holiday spirit.
posted on: December 19

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Joy says:
Hahaha! I'm on your mantel! (My tree decorations are the most narcissistic thing you can imagine. Angels proclaim me, birds sit on me, I am executed in crystal-like plastic...)
posted on: December 19

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bella says:
Look around, leaves are brown, there's a patch of snow on the ground. ~your pics reminded me of that song.
posted on: December 19

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La Dauphine says:
Oh, I bet your family is just as much fun as you are!!
posted on: December 19

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Rebekah says:
Guilt be banished. Angst be banished. All soft snow-like days for you ahead - my Christmas blessing.
posted on: December 19

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violetismycolor says:
I am another one who can be so absorbed in a Photoshop program that I lose hours at a time. What a fun way to spend a day...but there is a limit! Have a great time with the family and DON'T feel guilty. Merry Christmas.
posted on: December 20

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Margaret says:
I would like to figure out how to do my photos period. (or have time to do so!) I can barely take decent pictures, much less do anything with them. However, a nice, long walk in the snow would give me peace. I love the white and the quiet.
posted on: December 20

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Sarcomical says:
and i hope that you remember to look out that window of yours at that GORGEOUS view as often as possible to find some peace and tranquility whenever you need it. looks lovely. ;) p.s. you are awesome. sometimes you just need to hear that. ;)
posted on: December 20

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Bad Penguin says:
Trying to fit everything in during the holidays is stressful. And I am the queen of trying to do too much, anxiety and guilt, so I'm right there with you! Walking in the woods with your dog(s) and the man you love is a great antidote.
posted on: December 20

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Swirly says:
What a funny, honest post. Thank you for just letting it all out!
posted on: December 21

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liz elayne says:
Well, you are not alone in this angst...I think the holidays just bring it out in one form or another. I like the idea of "going stress-free" next year...hmm...seems like a dream doesn't it?
posted on: December 21

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