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February 15, 2008 4:20 PM- what's this?
All the most un-newsworthy, stultifying bits of drivel that could not possibly be fit for any print medium in any language at any time.
SNOW
And, more snow. With ice. Then, still more snow. Snow between your ears. Snow down your back. Snow in your shoes. Snow for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Here, more ice. Snow packed tightly into that tiniest space where your two eyeballs are separated by the bridge of your nose. Yes. No crevice is safe from the snow. Some people have water on the brain. Mine is encased in an enormous sphere of snow.
I'm sorry, are you tired of me talking about snow?
YES. I CAN IMAGINE HOW THAT MIGHT FEEL.
PROJECT RUNWAY
No one stands a chance against Christian. Somehow I don?t mind.
It hasn?t been a great season, challenge-wise. (In fact, I am still irritated beyond all reason that the producers were such greedmeisters that they decided to take whatever dollars the worldwide wrestling people enticed them with that we had to endure the circus costume episode. I can?t believe the designers didn?t revolt. And then the levis/denim challenge?please, somebody hold my forehead while I puke.) However, I have liked the contestants. Christian is such a pill, but oh how I adore his confidence and talent and ferocious creativity. I just want to smack him him on the head or put him in a headlock and give him a Bill Murray noogie. With love, of course, with much love.
TORPORFIED
There is an energy field that comes with 90 INCHES OF SNOW (this is not an exaggeration. This is a fact. Go ahead?google it. I?ll wait. Back? Do you have a better understanding of the change to our daily life since, um, er December?!). Shall I translate that into feet? 7.5, people. And that is just what has landed?you must imagine the drifts, the piles? sort of like if Austria had a love child with the Snows of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Like that. And their baby has a very big butt. An enormous butt.
Oh wait. Am I talking about snow again?
It?s the torpor. There?s this TORPOR that settles in around you. How do you know if you have been torporfied? Funny you should ask. Here?s a little checklist:
? Limbs are weak, like cooked noodles
? Head is heavy like a bowling ball
? Energy hisses out between your knees and elbows like a deflating balloon
? You can consume gallons of hot coffee and still need to go down for a nap
? It?s too much work to blink
If you have checked more than two of these symptoms, run?oh wait, you can?t run?slither to the nearest transportation available to you?a tow truck, snow plow, bulldozer, logging truck, what have you?flop yourself into your vehicle of choice. Imagine you are on your way south to a warmer clime?a place where sidewalks are visible. Then, pass out.
When you wake, you?ll still be in some greasy rig that smells of crude oil and anti-freeze, but surely it will be Spring by then.
Surely.
got 2 cents?
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lizardek says:
Poor thing. Though the line about energy hissing out between your knees and elbows made me laugh out loud, because I could see you start WHIZZING around the room squealing a high-pitched squeal until you came gently to rest...in a snow bank.
posted on: February 15
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Amber says:
The Snow! I see this plastered on a B movie poster much like The Blob! would be. The torpor also makes too much sense. It explains why I definitely can't be bothered to shovel everyday. My reasoning is this - it's only going to snow again tomorrow so why bother?
posted on: February 15
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tangled wings says:
guess what we're expecting tomorrow...ice...and maybe snow...after i asked you not to sent it this way...pffft...
posted on: February 15
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catherine says:
all you poor souls that are being boxed about the ears this year with winter, I feel for you, really, I feel your pain...this is my first winter ever in 41 years with no blasted snow...all I can say is, come visit, there's enough sunshine for us all.
posted on: February 15
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Margaret says:
Christian? Is FIERCE!!! (but sooo bratty. and I love him.)
The snow sitch? Ugh, and ugh some more. And I had no clue about the torpor. Hrmmm.
Warm, golden energy to you, T and the livestock. :-)
posted on: February 15
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bella says:
Feeling sorry for you stuck under all that snow. Wishing I had just a tad for myself. We've got a half inch of slushy, graying snow.
I'm so pissed that Rami still has a pea sized chance to come back. He's all drape, drape, drape..over and over again. His designs would look great on the old socialite crowd. Not a fan. I loved Chris's couture dress - he should have been in and Rami's ass should have been out. I think it'll be a tight race between Jillian and Christian at the end.
ps.. I secretly loved the challenge for the ladies of the WWe. Jill and Chris's creations especially. Oh, I love this show. xo
posted on: February 16
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teahouseblossom says:
Having grown up in the Deep South, I was so excited the first time I saw snow, when I was in high school. But now that I live in the Northeast, I've quickly gotten over that!
posted on: February 16
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endment says:
I think this says it for me:
There's a certain slant of light,
On winter afternoons,
That oppresses, like the weight
Of cathedral tunes.
Heavenly hurt it gives us;
We can find no scar,
But internal difference
Where the meanings are.
None may teach it anything,
'Tis the seal, despair,-
An imperial affliction
Sent us of the air.
When it comes, the landscape listens,
Shadows hold their breath;
When it goes, 't is like the distance
On the look of death.
~~ Emily Dickinson
posted on: February 16
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Molly says:
Hmm, I think it's time for me send you a woolly blanket or some such warmth.
xox
posted on: February 16
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Sam says:
Oh, honey, you know you are always welcome in my corner of the South - but I think you deserve more than our still-grey-and-brown landscape - pack your bikini and jet to Jamaica or some sort of secret tropical location.
As for PR - Christian is definitely, absolutely the boygirl to beat. At first I wanted to smack him, but he's damn GOOD (FIERCE!) and truly talented, as you say. Just that hair...and his can of hairspray...it's too funny.
posted on: February 17
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Heather says:
It's certainly not as much as you've had, but this winter has been ridiculous for snow here. Unfortunately the Great Plains likes to trick you - six inches one day, 67 degrees the next so it all melts, then six more inches the next day. As I write, it is snowing another six. I feel your pain.
posted on: February 17
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Jazz says:
I'm beginning to think it will never be Spring again in north eastern North America.
posted on: February 18
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JennB says:
I hear you... I am so damn tired of the snow/rain/ice/freeze that this winter has brought us. Sick to death of it, I am! Vermont feels your pain.
Only 6 (or 8) more weeks of winter, although I did see some robins today. A lot of them, actually. I'm hoping they are not the non-migrating type, and that they've come back. But the weatherman's predicting more snow tonight, and falling temps. I am so excited.
www.opaqueprintproduction.com/jbblog
posted on: February 18
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beth says:
I hear you....
Where are you ?
I'm in Wisconsin and could have written what you wrote !
I'm soooo done with snow for this year !
posted on: February 19
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Sorry, comments are now closed.
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