Dear Jason,

This is hard for me to write, but since you so clearly prefer short, concise communication I?m just going to say it: I can?t be your girlfriend.

I know, I know--- you have so much to offer someone like me. You love travel, adventure and meeting new people. And I?ll admit, your ability to chase down an assassin through the winding back streets of Tangiers, or the alleys of Montparnasse, or simply drive a car backwards off the roof of a building because it?s the only way to avoid being shot in the head---all this dazzles me, truly?it does.

What I love most is how you always live in the moment. You?re not one of those guys talking about the future what their gonna do five years from now?socking money away, working 80 hours a week so someday they can live on a boring old golf course. And, you?re not one of those guys all wrapped up in the past?always telling the same story of how wild and crazy they were back in college?god, please. Not you. You are always all about what?s going on right now. You?re so alive?so awake, it?s intoxicating?there?s nothing that escapes those blue eyes of yours. However, having said that, I am a bit concerned because it seems you sometimes forget to eat or drink enough water. Seriously, when was the last time you sat down and had a full meal? And all this running around and leaping across buildings?you?ve really got to make a better effort at staying hydrated.

But I?ll stop fussing over you?you can certainly take care of yourself?you?ve proven that much to me.

You?re fearless and terrifically smart?I mean, it?s not just your mastery of electronics, car engines and technical gadgets?let?s be honest, your geeky side is not what draws me in. For me it?s your fluency in the romance languages?the way you always respond with the perfect choice of colloquial expression. I mean, how many languages do you speak? I lost count after French, Russian and Spanish?and you probably know that?s something else we have in common. It?s true?I love languages and always said the next one I?d learn was Portuguese?Brazilian Portuguese. Hey, you don?t speak Portuguese do you, cause?wait, no, no.

No. I know where this will lead. I?ve seen that gentle, caring guy you?ve got buried under the cover of a cold-blooded killer.

Sure we could write some beautiful poetry together, but you know what will happen?there we?ll be, walking through the soft sand of some exotic beach in a remote area of Cyprus or along the Agia Kiriaki or Palauea ? you?ll be holding my hand, I?ll be wearing a sun-faded cotton pareo and a tank top feeding you fresh fried clams you just bought for me from the beachcomber?s shack when WHAM?bullets and diving into sand dunes and people screaming and well, you know?blood and fried clams everywhere.

Jason, I love you, but I just can?t. I hope you understand.

I know you?re hurting now?but you?ll be okay. You?re a survivor.

And, never forget-- we'll always have Paris--

bisous, bp

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