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May 16, 2007 11:14 AM- spring cleaning

Before I ever knew anything about feng shui, I had developed a number of behaviors that align nicely with this approach to life. Chief among them: I purge and clean when the guff gets up to my elbows. (Um, wait, maybe in feng shui they advise NOT to let the guff get so deep that it reaches your elbows-- but you know, whatever).

In college, the week before exams (where for me, it was less about the exams and more about the zillion 10-page papers I had due) my room was immaculate. I would clean for a whole day?sure, as tactical avoidance, but also because I could not get into ?the zone? if a semester?s worth of laundry was at my feet, empty cheetos bags and peanut-butter wafer wrappers overflowed from the trash can and my desk was covered with quotes and scribbles and books that had nothing to do with my assignments. (I?m looking at you Tom Robbins).

It all had to go. Only then, could I blast through whatever stood between me and summer vacation.

Right now feels like that, or perhaps, a variation on the ?clean so you can work? motif.

Yes, littering my office floor are magazines, binders where I keep magazine clippings, empty boxes, a variety of glues, various and sundry tissue papers, a sewing machine (and that?s only what I can see from where I sit typing to you)?safe to say, it?s tricked out with trash. But I don?t know that it?s going to get cleaned any time soon, nor is the surface of my desk. Well, maybe my desk?it?s got one too many dead coffee cups sitting around on it.

But my point was, (never fear the rambles?I ALWAYS have a point, fractal-shaped as it may be) I?m not talking about a physical spring cleaning, rather, more of a purge of old requests I?ve been carrying around.

Sometimes I get questions from people who read this site. Most I ignore (for ref. see: Sloth, Wretch, General Bitch). Some stick to me and then grow whole villages on the back of my neck while they wait for me to respond. Here are three that are getting the big eviction because it is annoying me to no end that I just don?t sit down and write two sentences and be done with it.

(yeah right, like I ever express a single thought in less than 40 sentences, but you know, don?t get me started).

So, in the interests of being energetically freed up to get the last grunt work that must be done so that I can wrap up this year and walk naked into the lake at dawn--mist rising up around my waist, here are questions that I am clearing off the slate forever. Please note, follow-up questions are strictly verboten.

WHEREFORE SOLAR
A few weeks back Otter wrote, ?I was telling hubby about how you guys weren't affected by all the power outages, due to the solar-osity of Soliden and he was fascinated...If you have a chance (I know you are swamped, so if you don't have time, don't sweat it AT ALL), can you share a little about that? He was wondering what you do for heating and cooling and how much area of solar panels you have to have to run your house....?

Don?t you just love how she lets me off the hook because she KNOWS me. The woman has a freaking PhD people. She knows EXACTLY what she is doing when she oh-so-casually gives me an out because I am so swamped. She is playing me. It is precisely because I KNOW how lazy I am, how not swamped, but LAZY I am that her question has taken up residence and built its own damn self a craftsman styled bungalow on the back of my neck.

So. Here we go.

I wish I could be all noble and say we are green because we love the world and want to see it safe for the children, and the bees, and the salamanders, or, be all radical and say we are green because FUCK THE MAN. However, I?m afraid it is far more superficial than that. We are solar because power lines aren?t pretty.

Yes. It was an aesthetic decision. Of course, I also hate what happens to old roads when they put in power lines so it is an overall look I was hoping to avoid.

Once, I was in Woodstock VT and the first thing I noticed was that there were no power lines. Turns out, they are all buried in the downtown. And I decided right then and there, if I ever grew up to become Kim Basinger and buy my own town, I would decree the burial of all power lines, amen. But SEE?!! SEE? Why I never answer questions. GAH GAH GAH

((I cannot stay on a straight line. Why can I not hold a straight narrative? Why God why?))

So, we bought some land--an old farm that had no buildings on it, just the stone foundations here and there of where houses were no more. The farm was at the end of an old road that the town hadn?t quite abandoned, er, they had abandoned it, just not on paper. There was no power to our property. We faced the choice of either running in power lines (NOT GOING TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFETIME, or, rather my MARRIED lifetime), or going solar.

It?s such a simple thing to have solar power. The biggest challenge was to fill out a questionnaire to assess how much electricity we use per day. Then, you order up a set of panels that will produce what you need.

We put our panels in the back yard?away from the house, but lots of people put them on the roof.

The panels bring in sun power (that?s the technical term) it runs down the cables buried between the panels and our house. Puts the power into a stack of batteries. The batteries convert the power to DC or AC or whatever the hell it is. If we are without sun for days and days, a propane generator kicks on to power the batteries. The generator never runs from May to October and only once or twice a month the rest of the year. But, you?d be surprised how much power you make on a cloudy day?I always am.

And that is all. If you walked into my house, you would never know it was run by solar energy?it looks utterly normal, no straw dropping from the ceiling, no goats running through the kitchen. You might see that we have no electricity bills?that?s a nice bonus.

As for heat?we did put in radiant floors, but we have only used them twice in two years: once to test to see if they worked, and once this past winter when our woodstove needed a repair. The rest of the time, all of our heat comes from the woodstove?it heats the whole house because we built it ?green? with envelope insulation, blah blah, blah technical speak blah (go here if you want better info). So wood and sun is how we live.

We have a well which, as we live on the side of a mountain, provides some damn fine fresh water and that?s it.

T drives a diesel car?that?s green. But me? It?s all about the pretty, folks. Because, like Dostoyefsky wrote, ?beauty will save the world.?

Or was it, a cheerleader will save the world?

And GAH to the FUCKING GAH

You see what has happened? I am in the midst of an episodic. Damn. Parts two and three to follow. Damn Damn Damn

Just when I think I?m close to the end . . . .



got 2 cents?



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bohemiangirl says:
Ah but you are wrong grasshoppa! Tom Robbins has everything to do with assignments. The assignment of life, baby!
posted on: May 16

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thepaperdoll says:
the only time i ever clean is when i must get something done. must write a paper. must do work stuff. must meet a deadline. oh no not before the closest is cleaned out and old photo albums neatly arranged in chronological order but wait i don't even remember who these people are. sigh. glad you've decided to purge as i'm gleaning bits of wisdom from your tossed out answers.
posted on: May 16

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Stephanie says:
All these Green options... it makes my head swim! BUT- even if you did it for aesthetic reasons, its still super cool of you to do it. I've been curious about your beautiful house, thanks for the elaboration madame! We're coverting to Green Power (fist raised in an authoritative stance!!) but are supplementing Buffalo's greyness with 2 small windmills... Green Power Baby! hellz yeah...
posted on: May 16

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lizardek says:
Oh goodie! An episodic! YAY!
posted on: May 16

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Jecca says:
Whereas my choise was to take a class (Comedy, Humor, and Satire) for which I could write the paper *on* Tom Robbins! I love that you went solar for the pretty, and I think it's awesome that it works so well.
posted on: May 16

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molly says:
I wish I could have majored in Tom Robbins. I'd like a whole year devoted to Jitterbug Perfume. I'd dye my hair red for the Woodpecker seminar. Going solar for the pretty is perfect example of Everybody Wins. Wires and cables and lines ARE ugly.
posted on: May 16

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bp says:
omg Molly-- I think I'm going to host that year here-- create a whole camp/spa study dedicated to Tom Robbins and wanton excess -- bonne idee?
posted on: May 16

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molly says:
mais oui!
posted on: May 16

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Molly says:
How interesting and inspiring! I also understand the I-can't-do-anything-until-I-clean bit. I am / was the same way, which is probably why not much gets done at home. I have been slowly but surely working my way through the clean, and it's just struggling and resisting. Perhaps this post will be the inspiration to work my way through those nasty catch all drawers so they can catch the most recent crap. PS: Also love Tom Robbins. Darn distracting books and all.
posted on: May 16

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bohemiangirl says:
Super bonne id?e. Everyone could come dressed as their favorite character - Bonanza Jellybean, Leigh-Cheri, Kudra, Pan, Bingo Pajama, Madame Devalier, Priscilla the waitress/perfumer, Salome the belly dancer, Jezabel, a can o' beans, a dirty sock... a Tom Robbins theme party, of sorts.
posted on: May 17

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Jazz says:
Seems to me pretty is as good a reason as any to go solar.
posted on: May 17

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Sheryl says:
very interesting, please continue...
posted on: May 17

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steph says:
duuuude. that's pretty inspiring and I wish you could slap that in a popular magazine for more people to read. You guys rock. And yah, if for no other reason than to AVOID the power lines I'd go for it too. But oh, the reasons! And I can't believe you guys have only used the radiant heat twice. Goes to show you how proper building yields efficiency. LISTEN UP FOLKS! She has a POINT!
posted on: May 17

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nichole says:
we live in town, our power lines are buried. thank the maker. in houston i'd lay in our pool and look up at them. it was hideous. oh and btw I found your little dorm room book at the Inkwell in Corvallis Oregon. I know I know..tender subject. we wont' talk about it :) but it was still cool to be touched by the BP all the way out here in this little gifty home store.
posted on: May 17

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violetismycolor says:
I totally agree with you on powerlines being the ugly of the devil. Luckily for me, our neighborhood (where we have lived for 20 years!) was smart enough to bury the lines underground...for the prettiness of it, in fact...but brilliant nonetheless. I do like the concept of no electric bills, though.
posted on: May 19

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otter says:
O, you fab creature! Thank you so much--hubby will be thrilled! And please sign me up for the Tom Robbins spa package, with the fractal point stone massage. I'll be the badger with the giant scrotum from Village Incognito, because that wouldn't be weird. P.S. You can put the neck bungalow on the market now :~)
posted on: May 20

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Heather says:
Catching up on reading and I LOVE that you did it for the pretty. I idolize you even more now than if you had done it for the eco-reasons!
posted on: May 22

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