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May 10, 2007 10:44 AM- ouch


photo, Jim Tardio

One summer Saturday when I was about five, my parents took us up to Lancaster for a fair.*

We had just moved down from a suburb in Boston to live in a suburb of Philadelphia. No doubt, checking out the region where black-topped buggies rule the road seemed like a fun adventure, or, remembering the contents of the car, at the least, novel, or, considering my mom was home with five kids all day, getting in the car and driving away from the dishes, laundry, etc. must have seemed almost like a vacation!

The fair, as best as I can remember was outdoors and smelled like horse manure which, oddly, is a scent that I don?t mind at all. There was straw strewn about everywhere and a few ?homespun? rides made out of rough-hewn logs.**

We each got an ice cream cone. Mine was chocolate and to this day, I will swear to you it was the best chocolate ice cream I have ever eaten in my entire life. I know the Amish don?t put buttons on their clothes or lace on their knickers, but let me tell you they let the freak flag fly when churning out their fresh, dense, luscious, creamy chocolate ice cream.

So there I was, happily (and most successfully) transferring all the runny, brown drips that would not stop sliding down the side of my cone onto my cheeks, nose, chin, and shirt collar. Some of it actually made it into my mouth?and wow, never before and never since have I eaten ice cream like that (and people, I went to college where Ben & Jerry set up their first shop?so I will not entertain any objections to this assertion).

Between each strenuous tongue extension, I would look up to keep my older brother in my sights. At this time, I worshipped my older brother and wherever he went, so went I. (In fact, the only reason I was eating a chocolate cone on that particular day was because chocolate was my older brother?s favorite flavor, and thus, mine, too. Truth be told, I am not much for chocolate?sure, I?ll have some?but would I miss not having some, not really?it isn?t my thing.)

--- God. Could we STOP with the drifting off into the tall grass and stay on point here? Christ. I?m glad they weren?t testing for ADD when I was a kid. Ahem. ---

So, eating ice cream. Watching my brother who is on this big, merry-go-round kind of ride made from huge, whole, stripped pine trees. I step forward and

WHACK.

Face down.

In the mud, straw, horse manure (probably).

A bit shocked. A bit dazed. I stand back up as I can see the head of my ice cream that had been so unceremoniously detached from its sugar cone body yet when I move toward it

WHACK.

Again, body slam to the hard earth. Mouth full of dirt and straw and a most painful heat on the back of my head.

I get up a second time, this time only to my knees (god bless biological directives that help keep the species alive) and feel the SWOOSH as one of the four pine tree logs passes swiftly over my head.

You see, the ends of the pine tree logs stuck out a good 3 feet from the ingenious ride built for kids. Somehow I hadn?t noticed this small detail and drifted directly into the path of the revolving whack-a-mole and would?ve continued to be hit had I not found it so very painful and decided that maybe, perhaps, the Amish, despite their glorious alchemy of rendering milk and sugar into a frozen delight befitting a May Day celebration on Mt. Olympus, shouldn?t be in the merry-go-round building business.

My purpose in sharing this little childhood anecdote (which you can imagine, left a strong imprint on my consciousness) is that it best sums up how I feel right now.

Last Fall, I was on everybody?s most hated list as I skipped though my days, strewing rose petals behind me and singing tra-la la. O happy, was I. Whereas, these past few weeks, it?s been more of standing under the Amish merry-go-round. A lot of thwacking to the head?at least, that?s how it feels to me. Not to say there aren?t lots of wonderful, wonderful stuff/people/things/dogs in my life?there most certainly are.

I just need to figure out how I got under the merry-go-round in the first place and then, step far, far away.

Right now?I?m going to go take some ibuprofen, because just writing this out gave me a headache?I kid you not. How weird is that?

** Two parents, five kids, one car?it boggles the mind. And they did it all the time. And, took us camping?two parents, five kids, one car, one camper. This is why it doesn?t matter what they didn?t do?anyone who could survive a car trip with the five of us, nay?survive and live to Do. It. Again. Is immune from all slings and arrows.

** Have I already told you this story? God, it?s been so many years of babbling now I don?t even know anymore?next time I start a blog, remind me to organize it somehow so that if I wanted to see what I?d previously written about head injuries, it would be a simple matter to find it. Actually, never mind. I think I rather prefer it all tumbling into the abyss.



got 2 cents?



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amy says:
it may be possible that you are a kindred spirit to all aimless and longing for kindredness spirits... how i stumbled into this blog I don't remember but WHACK! like a zen master's 2x4 to the head, instant joy to be awoken to the writer you. you have a wonderful collection of stories in these blog pages that i'd like to see bound in a book and offered to the masses longing to be struck just so. life through your eyes makes the heart sing!
posted on: May 10

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bohemiangirl says:
Amy, I couldn't have said it better. I second that.
posted on: May 10

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lizardek says:
Step AWAY from the ...uh, pine log. Yes. Do that, please. It's time to make some changes, regardless of whether you think it's too soon. *rubs your aching head and hands you a cold compress*
posted on: May 10

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misty says:
how I can relate...sigh. as i pack the bags again...and head on a road trip with my family...i wonder...can you spare some ibuprofen?
posted on: May 10

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bp says:
ooh I have a secret admirer-- Miss Amy who leaves no contact info but showers me with compliments like so many roses left mysteriously on my doorstep--
posted on: May 10

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Jecca says:
HA! Um, I'm not laughing at your pain. But wow, yeah, that is a sucky experience, whether literal or metaphorical. Here's to you figuring out which way is away from the merry-go-round and toward the ice-cream stand. Yee-ouch!
posted on: May 10

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Joy says:
Fantastic story. And "Letting the freak flag fly"--did you come up with that expression? That slays me! I hope whatever keeps knocking you down, um, sets on fire. And that you have marshmallows and a cold beer handy.
posted on: May 10

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catherine says:
I too am on the thwacking merry-go-round of life right now..oh, did I say ON, I meant under/in it's mighty path/being churned by...I think I'll opt for something stronger than ibuprofen, prescription strength if you please...or better yet, this time next year, I AM NOT, I repeat, AM NOT moving, as much as my DNA wills me to pick up and move ever 12 months or so, I will resist and get out of the way of the whirling, spinning, thwacking merry-go-round...so, my advice? (silly you! don't take advice from crazy people like me!), get out from under, any way possible. Oh, and do as Amy says, get thee to a publisher and spread the joy that is BP. :)
posted on: May 10

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KvH says:
Oh dear. I know the buzzing burn of that feeling. I'm thinking you are pretty amazing to get back up and brush the dirt off your shoulder and write such great things. I think you should go have some really stupendous creamy chocolate ice cream and let it get nice and drippy. Be well & yes, by all means step away!
posted on: May 10

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tinker says:
Please keep your hands inside the ride at all times, and your head out from under it! I remember a similar mule-powered ride at Knott's Berry Farm, I can't even imagine getting thwacked by that - Yikes! Whatever's thwacking you now, isn't worth it. It's taken me awhile to get that message myself, and I'm still trying to lie low and wriggle out from under. Hope you find a ride that's better-built and more fun soon.
posted on: May 10

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dodo says:
Sorry about the thwackiness. I'll send you some more ice cream.
posted on: May 11

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thepaperdoll says:
here here! it must be something in the air because i too feel as if i've taken a good beating. thanks for reminding me i have the power to get away. bon(ne) (i can never remember) chance!
posted on: May 11

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richard says:
One can't eat ice cream (or enjoy any other sinfully delicious experience) without paying a high and often painful price.
posted on: May 11

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Reya Mellicker says:
If there's any single Truth that's really really true, it's paradox. All my 54 years on this planet have included delicious smells, the best ice cream in the world, and repeated thwacks to the head. I'm sorry you're currently in the thwack mode. My mother used to say, "This, too, shall pass." And it will. And there will be laughter and dancing and tra la la. I promise.
posted on: May 12

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