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February 27, 2007 10:58 AM- countdown to 3.8.07
Dear Mercury,
You?re a bastard. I know, I know?you can be Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Clarity and Mr. Get Things Done most of the time, but when you?re in retrograde, dude, I hate you.
You think I?m kidding? You think I?m exaggerating? I HATE you.
I especially hate you today-- you have flipped my canoe, you bastard. You see, I have you figured out. I have a coping mechanism for your retrograde periods. I see them coming and stay conscious of your annoying tendency to throw sand in the gears so that when I get to the front of the line I?ve been waiting in for 10 minutes and realize I?ve forgotten the one item I came in to buy I walk away with a laugh, ?ha ha, that darn Mercury?a regular coyote he is.?*
Or, when my brakes go out the day I need my car to shuttle 88 pieces of artwork from storage to the gallery and it turns out they need new rotors so I have to leave it over night and then when I pick up the car the brakes keep squealing so I take it back and they replace the brand-new brake pads they had just replaced and then I drive some more and hear more squealing of brakes and must go in a THIRD time**?well, I just smile and think, ?that prankster Mercury, hoo boy, he is one funny poltergeist.?
You see?I am committed to my zen. I am committed to flowing and not fighting the tide even when assholes like you are intent on dropping me on my head.
So yesterday, when I discovered the bad news about how royally I had fucked up, I knew you had to have more one go at me before your time was up. But, as of this morning, my kindly forebearance of your ultra assholedness is over. Because! This morning! We realize both of our cars need to be registered today. My license needs to be renewed today.*** And, you know?I?m kinda busy over here.
So, thanks for the parting gifts?you are a real gem. But if you think you can get the best of me you are so wrong. This is chump change. Go ahead, do your worst. These are inconveniences, pal. Inconveniences. I will shrug them off and get through even if it means snapping out undeservedly at my husband.
Your time is almost up?and I?m still here. So suck it, bitch.
__________
*Okay, so maybe I have some short-term memory loss.
**Okay, so maybe I have a lousy mechanic.
***Okay, so maybe I'm at fault for forgetting about these domestic details.
BUT I"M STILL BLAMING MERCURY IN RETROGRADE, dammit.
got 2 cents?
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dodo says:
go stroke a dog or something - I hear it's theraputic
posted on: February 27
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Joy says:
I've got to find out more about this Mercury in retrograde business. Maybe that could explain a lot!
posted on: February 27
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Heather says:
Wish I could give you good vibes, but I'm dying here myself. Laundry? Bills? Dogs? (OK, hard to forget them when they're standing on your head demanding to be fed at 6am.) HA! Anyways, caught my breath enough to read your last few posts - I love Selvedge too (but then again I'm a textiles major).
posted on: February 27
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lizardek says:
Does Mercury put everything in hyperspeed, too? Geez louise, I'm busy.
posted on: February 27
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tinker says:
That Mercury, he is a joker, isn't he? March 7th direct again, thank heavens. If we can all hang in there till then.
posted on: February 28
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river selkie says:
lizardek- that's me too!
wait! mercury is also called hermes...which is that winged messenger god. the fast one. no wonder!
posted on: February 28
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Jazz says:
Go girl! you gotta blame something!
posted on: February 28
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Amber says:
Crap, so that's what has been going on. If that is the case, Mercury has been really screwing with us lately and it had better taper off soon! You hear that Bastardo, one more pupming fist in the air! I'll have your back BP in pointing the finger :)
posted on: February 28
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Sam says:
Oh, this is just the perfect post, my sweet BP - and I am royally pissed off at that asshat Mercury, too. I shall expound more on my own blog - but oh, Mercury needs a spanking indeed, and not in a GOOD way.
But you know, we have a very important work thing going on 3/8 and 3/9, so I'm glad Mercury will be out of his dirty tricks. Coyote indeed!
posted on: February 28
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Jecca says:
Been totally out of touch but suddenly it's incredibly clear why our marriage cert. had to be redone, resent in, and has yet to materialize. You know, the piece of paper I need so that I can be registered as a military dependent before my new husband deploys in a few weeks. Agh agh agh. Much tea and sympathy, darling poppy!
posted on: February 28
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Sheryl says:
You know I never used to believe in this astrology stuff, but ever since I had my chart done, I'm starting to believe. It feels like I've been walking through glue lately, and sure enough, after looking it up, it seems to be mercury's fault. I can't wait for 3-8, when I can function again.
posted on: March 01
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Sorry, comments are now closed.
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