Rabbit, Rabbit, Rabbit!

Oh how I love the first day of a month and here at Soliden the air is practically edible this morning, so soft, so sweet. The sunlight wallows in the haze. Only the smallest breezes flick the tips of tree branches. I watch as one lone orange leaf catches an air pocket and spirals up against the gray-blue sky only to drop suddenly, conclusively, to the carpet of dead leaves below.

Last night I went into the SQL database to clean out some spam from this site. It?s not a frequent habit of mine, but I do try to keep those nasty little ?hfhftfthspppskxx? fellows out of the files as much as I can. This site, as you techos can see, is a homespun creation and as such, doesn?t have the standard features I hear about on other blogs. For instance, people will write, ?someone googled ?mildew in cough syrup? and landed here.?

This puzzles me to no end. But, (but!) before you rush in with advice and direction on how I can sidle up to RSS feeds and site stats and the like, let me just say, please don?t.

One, because some of you lovelies (I?m looking at you frecklegirl!) have already offered such help so were I to want to move into the deep waters of the blogosphere, I could find the means. Two, I am not a techno. My eyes would glaze over if you began to explain what?s involved.

More to the point, we all know I write here for neither money nor fame. Why I do write here is less easily defined, but I think it?s safe to say I was always a journaler. Mrs. Scott, my second grade teacher, gave me the first journal I ever had. It was a cloth bound blank journal and she told me to ?keep writing.? Needless to say, Mrs. Scott was my favorite teacher ever.

So?journaling privately, journaling publicly?big difference, yes. But, things are pretty quiet in bluepoppy cove so it never much concerned me.

Until last night.

So I am trying to find my way out of the SQL database and lo and behold, I find some modicum of a search results page. It isn?t what other people have, I am pretty sure because there are many of you who are fairly regular commenters and you weren?t there but what was there were some search strings from Google.

I think in the interests of clarification I should help these lost souls.

If you came here looking for ?funny nicknames for husbands? I must direct you to T. I am not the nicknamer, but the nicknamee. Oh wait, he doesn?t have a blog. Sorry, you are out of luck.

If you came here looking for ?runners in their underwear,? ?naked with my sister,? or ?naked sister-in-law,? you are clearly lost and should return to Google to try again.

If you came here looking for ?how many women were lost at sea,? or ?bewitched neighbor,? again, I?m at a loss on how to help.

What shocked me was the NUMBER (I am talking in the zillions of hits!) looking for ?boob cake.? Although I certainly understand the appeal of boob cake everyone knows Molly Kath is the source for that special treat.

Close on the heels of ?boob cake? in terms of crazy insane number of hits were ?dressmaker form? and ?blue hubbard squash.?

I had no idea. There are people who LOVE them some blue hubbard squash.

The dressmaker form I understand a bit better, I think it is a follow-on trend from Project Runway popularity as I know my niece gave her sister a dress form for her birthday.

There were a few people looking for ?funny resignation letters? and for that I have to direct them to Miss Otter, she of the perfect wit (see COMMENTS). Although as a new mom, you may find a bit of spit-up on the page which really, come to think of it, would be so utterly apropos to a resignation letter, non?

Joking aside, the oddest thing was how weird it felt to be looking in on the people who come here secretly. There are some readers who clearly read here often that I?ve never met. When I went to their sites I felt like an intruder coming in the back door--- it was a really weird feeling. I mean, they come here, why should I feel weird? But I did, like somehow I broached their privacy. If they wanted a visit from me, they would leave a comment with their url. So I left and I will stay away from that strange search page because it isn?t in my nature to want to know secrets?I really have a terribly apathetic curiosity about other people.

However, since this will be my last mention of it ever, I have to tell you a couple more things that I learned.

One, I am HUGE in Japan. HUGE.
(Sort of like the David Hasselhoff of the gubutsu crowd).

Two, although there are no shortage of MySpace hits?they all appear fairly random except for this one guy who has been here 76 times in the past month. Should I be worried?

Three, there were visits from group websites that somewhat concerned me.

Dear People from www.christianforums.com, um, I have a feeling you may not like it here and if you are just coming to mock me, please, that?s so not what Jesus would do.

Given my recent introduction to the special joys of anxiety, I do understand how someone from www.social-anxiety-community.org might have landed here, but again, I doubt I?ll be able to offer you any peace so travel on fair soldier, travel on.

Lastly, for those of you who arrived here looking for ?endangered blue poppy? and ?poor conversationalist,?

WELCOME, friends, WELCOME HOME.

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