The only comics I really loved were Asterix & Obelix ?but that?s probably because there was so much silliness* woven in or perhaps because there were so many levels to the jokes that as I got older there was still more to find.

However, of late I?ve been thinking I could use some superheroes in my life. In fact, I?d like to have the following magical people to call upon at a moment?s notice.

Funnygirl
Whenever I am stuck in a moment that is too damn serious for my own good, I could send up a call for Funnygirl. (What would be the signal? Hmm, not sure. A loud fart? Break a shoe heel?) What I do know is that she'd burst in on the austerity and bust it up good. She?d be a redhead, for sure. I like to think she?d be a cross between Ellen DeGeneres and Tina Fey with some Fug sister mixed in.

The Tarry Ho
For those times I find myself procrastinating and need to get shit done, I could call up The Tarry Ho. (What would be the signal? Hmm, given how low my energy would be in that situation, I?m thinking drool might be involved or perhaps slumping?oh wait, I know?a HEAVY SIGH. That?s it). The Tarry Ho would come in and bitch slap me but good. In no time I?d be making a to-do list and crossing things off.

Blue Mettle
I?m sick to death of the insecurity and anxiety that can still grip me from time to time. It pisses me off to no end, but I can?t seem to keep it out of my life entirely. If I had a superhero like Blue Mettle, all my worries would be gone.

Blue Mettle has a golden hookah silk screened onto her cape. She would pick me up and place me in a hammock that was being gently rocked by the coolness himself, George Clooney. All of my agitation and worry would lift up and off of me-- it would drift away in a cloud of pink. Her perfume would have hints of lavendar, lily-of-the-valley and tuberose. She would recite Tibetan prayers that magically realigned my chakras, restored my courage and balanced my equilibrium so I could face another day.

How about you? Got any favorite superheroes?

*Why are the French genetically prone to love the silly? A question for the ages. My theory: it balances out their incessant quest for perfection.

UPDATED TO ADD: What are you doing here? Go see Miss Doxie because the bitch is funny. It is so totally unfair and is yet another example of how I know the universe is run by evil, evil monkeys who give all the beauty, brains, mad drawing skills to just one person at a time, the fuckers. Am I bitter? Hell, yes. Go see--- read her current post and the one before it. Bitch makes me laugh. That is, when I'm not choking on the green bile of jealousy.

got 2 cents?