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March 08, 2006 11:06 AM- muito obrigada

Thank you all so much.

I have to tell you I was mortified when I woke up this morning and thought about what I had put out there yesterday. Mortified.

But then, I just tried to sit with the feeling and trust that even though (it seems) to most of you I am ridiculous/absurd for making such a big deal out of something so simple?I must tell you, this is a huge issue for me. An embarrassing issue.

So I decided to try and push through it and make it public because in the past I have found that all of you are SO supportive and HELPFUL and don?t shame me when I publish my ridiculous idiosyncrasies. Au contraire. You take me into the fold like the mama bears that you are and I LOVE that. Love that. Thank you.

Everyone is different. My weak points are not your weak points. That?s why collaboration is such a magnificent thing?

Anyway. This whole thing has helped me.

Christina wrote, ?I also think that receiving has to do with feeling worth of it.? Yep. That pretty much sums up the issue for me. And to counter that, I savor what Lil wrote ?Mr. Jazz who once told me when I said I didn?t deserve something, ?then how stupid does that make me to have given it to you? I don?t think I?m stupid.?

I will find my own balance in this. I truly wasn?t trying to overanalyze it, rather, I was trying to actually address what I was feeling instead of burying it all down as is my wont. This is all part of my 2006 goals of being looser, more open, wilder, less controlled, more spontaneous. And I think being able to receive fully with ease and grace will be a great measure of my growth in this area in time to come.

Bored yet?

Of course you are. So I will send you off to some better places post haste:

The Ruffle Queen

Good suggestions for Artist Dates

Half-Week Haiku

A great music playlist for yoga (or mediatation).

got 2 cents?



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lizardek says:
Never, never, NEVER bored chez BP!
posted on: March 08

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kerewin says:
I meant to comment yesterday, but I used to have a similar issue. I couldn't receive compliments gracefully. When someone would tell me I was beautiful, I would tell them they were wrong. Finally one day a nice man pointed out that by doing that I was basically insulting the person who was giving the compliment. I started to say simply, "Thank you." However, I still don't feel totally worthy of the compliment, but I am trying.
posted on: March 08

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la vie en rose says:
thank you for choosing to address you real issues here. it gives us all a chance to think about it too.
posted on: March 08

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sarai says:
thanks for being so open with us. yesterday's post was inspiring and thought provoking. thank you for that. never boring.
posted on: March 08

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sarai says:
oh and ps-i love the new redesign. beautiful.
posted on: March 08

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Lil says:
Never ridiculous/absurd. Never ever ever. And never boring either. And like Sarai, love the new banner. Smooches.
posted on: March 08

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saltwaterprincess says:
I think it's wonderful when you shine a light into your being, poppy, it means you're a deep feeling, loving amazing woman!
posted on: March 08

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liz elayne says:
i thought what you put out there made sense, but like i commented earlier, your concerns resonated with me. i so appreciate that you share with honesty...it inspires me to do the same.
posted on: March 08

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Lynn says:
You say, "bored yet." I say, "bored never." Oh, and I immensely appreciate your honesty.
posted on: March 08

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violetismycolor says:
You're welcome...
posted on: March 08

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tinker says:
BP, you are fascinating as always! And your post yesterday, left me with much food for thought (which I'm still digesting!) I'm realizing I have issues with receiving, (I knew I had issues - plenty of them! I just hadn't realized receiving was one of them!) Thank you for your honest and thought-provoking writing - oh, and thank you for the linkage:)
posted on: March 08

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the Queen says:
Thanks for the plug. ;) We all go through that posting remorse, I think. I keep wondering to myself if guys have this receiving problem... seems like a female thing, doesn't it?
posted on: March 09

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Sorry, comments are now closed.




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