January 12, 2006 9:14 AM- The Love and the Hate
Ways I love my husband:
While watching Serenity . . .
Him: River reminds me of you.
Me: Really? A teenager? A brilliant but psychotic psychic who is plagued with paranoid schizophrenia because of what the blue hands have done to her?
Him: Who kicks ass?look, she can take out a whole room of Reevers?who else can do that?
Ways I hate my husband:
Me: The sofa is being delivered between noon and 2 tomorrow. Who have you called to be here to help you?
Him: I can?t call anyone and ask them to twiddle their thumbs for two hours!
Me: *steam rising* This was the plan. You have known all along and you DIDN?T call anyone for help?
Him: I?ll just put it in the garage. I can do that by myself.
Me: The sectional sofa with two pieces one 8 feet long and the other 7 feet long that are going to be delivered at the END of a mile-long Class 6 road?!! And, I DON?T WANT it in the garage I want it in the living room.
Him: I don?t want it in the living room?I still have to paint the living room.
Me: They?ll be wrapped in plastic! What difference does it make? You just don?t want to call anyone for help.
Him: That?s right.
Me: Goddamn you!** And yesterday when our friends asked us to keep their dog for two weeks while they are in the Caribbean and I said, let?s say no and you said, sure we can do that and now you can?t ask for help for TWO F*CKING hours?!!!!!
Ways I love my husband:
While watching Sophie Marceau in The World is Not Enough
Him: She totally has your ass.
Me: Sophie Marceau? She's beautiful!
Him: Her ass is hot. But your legs are better.
Ways I hate my husband:
Him: *moody* *moody* *grumble ass* *moody*
Ways I love my husband:
Him: *sparkling* *genius* *loving and affectionate* *creator*
So, you know, Kismet and all that. Or, basically, when he likes me and tells me I'm pretty (if psychotic) all is good. When he doesn't do it my way, buckets of displeasure.
**No, I didn't really say that but I THOUGHT it.
AFTERNOON UPDATE: The sofa is in the living room (still shrinkwrapped, natch)! And, the boy had 3 helpers on hand.
Alrighty then. My work here is done.
got 2 cents?
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saltwater princess says:
Oh! You petulant little poppy you! You sound like a good wife and an great person. I hope your sofa finds a safe spot today!
posted on: January 12
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lizardek says:
My colleagues keep coming in to find out what's wrong with me and why I'm crying...with laughter!
posted on: January 12
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Heather says:
Oh how true!!! And I really want to date again???
posted on: January 12
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bella says:
LOL.. I think all girls think like you!
posted on: January 12
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Dawn says:
So very true.
posted on: January 12
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liz elayne says:
Oh these little snippets help remind me that I am not alone in this marriage journey. Love it. I keep trying to tell my single friends who so desire a husband that they do not know what they are getting into here...in the best of ways of course.
posted on: January 12
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Lil says:
I wish I was you.... you rock (and Sophie Marceau has your ass).
posted on: January 12
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Lauren says:
I told my guy that he has one job and one job only: to make me happy. If I'm in a good mood, he'll be in one too...it's not rocket science and yet he manages to still disobey this one simple rule. ahhh men.
posted on: January 12
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grudge girl says:
I liked reading this. It made me feel better. Gives me something to strive for.
p.s. Thanks for visiting chez moi. It also made me feel better.
posted on: January 12
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finelyspungirl says:
You are so cute and funny, E! I love your posts :)
posted on: January 12
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