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May 16, 2005 9:41 AM- mea culpa

Heavy incense fills the air. Low chanting can be heard from the other side of the stone wall. I step inside a small, dark closet. A tiny screen slides open to reveal the watchful, listening Internet?my confessor.

Me: Forgive me, Internet--- it?s been four days since my last posting. In those 96 hours I have in fact had a number of post-worthy experiences and yet, did not post.

Internet: Were you ill?

Me: No, no.

Internet: You were too busy with more important things?

Me: Eh, not so much.

Internet: *sigh* Sloth is one of the seven deadly sins, my child.

Me: Hey?I wasn?t slothful!

Internet: *piercing gaze through the screen*

Me: Okay, okay?I was slothful.

Internet: What might you have shared were you not a self-indulgent twat?

Me: Um, I could opine on Sideways and Garden State.

Internet: Pfffft. Could you be anymore behind the times?

Me: I could have taken pictures of my adorable posh poochy plates I received from Kate!

Internet: And?

Me: I could?ve written about my nightmare Saturday night.

Internet: And?

Me: I could?ve told the story how Ta took a bullet for me by going to the Brimfield Fair without me which was, in her words, ?a monstrous junkfest.?

Internet: *yawn* Dude, you?re forgiven. It?s pretty clear you did us all a favor by not posting.

Tiny screen slams shut.

Me: Well, I was also gonna post about the wild sex, but hey, whatever.

got 2 cents?



•  •  •  •

Sarcomical says:
hey, i saw sideways this weekend too! ummm...i didn't get the buzz. i mean, not ALL full-frontal is GOOD full-frontal. or back-al. just...ick. but hey, the sex part sounds to have brightened your weekend. ;)
posted on: May 16

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stephanie says:
I loved Sideways, but then I am a wino. And I never drink any fucking merlot either.
posted on: May 16

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samantha says:
It must've been something in the air - I watched Sideways (finally) as well! All the wine talk was interesting, and I liked the redemptive theme, as in Miles finally got his shit together, but I am with Sarcomical, the full frontal stuff was disconcerting. Glad you're back, bp, now I can stop the obsessive clicking for a full day! You're never boring, dear friend, and I would read about paint drying on the walls of Soliden with glee.
posted on: May 16

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lizardek says:
Um, I don't think so. The Internet would NEVER call you a twat. However, you are SO getting linked for this.
posted on: May 16

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wee says:
Forgive me, Sam, for I am evil. I thought you were going to say "It must've been something in the air- I had wild sex too" But alas. No. Wild sex, wild sex, WILD SEEEEXxXXXxx!!! hmm. know that's something to confess.
posted on: May 16

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samantha says:
*giggling* no wee, unfortunately NOT. Picking out china is not exactly a sexy weekend activity - it leads more to murder than wild sex.
posted on: May 16

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wee says:
China patterns? You REALLY are a rebel! nudge, nudge, wink, wink say no more :^)
posted on: May 16

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frecklegirl says:
hmmm... hot sex ;) You guys are cracking me up.
posted on: May 16

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Kestrel says:
I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who talks to her computer. My dog used to tell me that wasn't normal but now I can show her your site and say: "See! She does it too!" Booya.
posted on: May 17

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Sorry, comments are now closed.




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