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February 01, 2005 11:22 AM- wonky astrology
Like many people, I am not immune to the lure of the horoscope. Though not a daily or weekly habit, I do like to tune into the beginning of a month to see what is in store. (And, I'll admit, I have held many a monthly magazine in my hands while waiting in the checkout line, quickly scanning the horoscope page and if my horoscope doesn't look promising, the magazine gets tossed back onto the rack and remains unpurchased - feh).
So, seeing as today is a new day of a new month, I surfed about for an online fix. I came across this at nerve.com:
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
It's feast or famine, isn?t it, Aquarius?
Lucky for you, this month the new moon will be in Pisces.
It's a double-bodied sign, so two extra naked people might end up in your bed.
Scared? Don?t be.
You?ve had enough dry spells in the past ? double your pleasure while you can.
You'll be dreamy all month, artistic on the 3rd, making bank on the 5th, and, if you're in a relationship, quite possibly single on the 6th. This is good news.
You?ll have almost an entire month, Valentine's Day included, to expect the unexpected.
Are they kidding? I mean I've heard of sarcastic or cynical horoscopes but I think they are serious.
Let's analyze this, shall we?
It's feast or famine, isn?t it, Aquarius?
Are they mocking my manic-depressive tendencies? They are, aren't they. Bastards.
Lucky for you, this month the new moon will be in Pisces.
It's a double-bodied sign, so two extra naked people might end up in your bed. Scared? Don?t be.You?ve had enough dry spells in the past ? double your pleasure while you can.
Scared? You must be insane. I am French, non? Bring it!
You'll be dreamy all month, artistic on the 3rd, making bank on the 5th, and, if you're in a relationship, quite possibly single on the 6th. This is good news.
Um, did I read that right? One day out of the month I'm artistic-- and it's a THURSDAY?! The busiest day of my week-- at work. "Making bank" on a Saturday? What the hell is making bank? Prostituting myself for dollars? Dude, I do that every day BUT Saturday and Sunday, get with the program. Quite possibly single on the 6th? And this is good news? Um, you wanna break that one to T? He may have a different opinion.
And, I'll have all month to expect the unexpected. You mean, like Life? Like every other fucking month of the year? Or, are you suggesting it is only in February that I don't know what the future will bring?
Wankers.
got 2 cents?
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Milly says:
From one Aquarius to another, I found this one on Yahoo Horoscopes:
Eating crow is never tasty, and you've never been especially good at it. But you may receive information today that will force you to take a great, big bite. Could be that a higher-up you were sure was plotting something against you from behind the scenes has really been doing just the opposite -- and not just working for you, but trying to be a guardian angel. Don't expose the secret just yet. Wait and see if they come to you first.
Whatever...I just read them for fun, but you gotta wonder where they come up with this stuff!
posted on: February 01
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wee says:
O... the woe. It is spreading.
posted on: February 01
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stephanie says:
Maybe the two naked people = the butterscotch boys? Dogs are people, right?
posted on: February 01
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gatsby says:
dude, aquarisi rule.
it's funny how, like jodi foster, i'm immediately perceived as an intelligent but elitist asshole by everyone privy to my astrological status; i don't even need to talk to confirm their assessment. and really why would i speak to any of these lesser signs.
in regards to horoscopes, the only one that i ever tuned in to was the onions, (of course i read the onion only when it was avante garde; i'm not some pathetic taurus... "look they named a car after me... uh please just leave)
Aquarius: (Jan. 20?Feb. 18)
You don't see why everyone puts such a premium on listening to others. It's obviously better to use that time to decide what you'll say next.
word.
posted on: February 01
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stephanie says:
Hey, wait a minute! This pathetic taurus is mildly offended that they named a car after me!
posted on: February 01
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gatsby says:
terrible isn't it. you earth signs... it's all about toil, toil and a sports package with leather seats and a power sunroof.
posted on: February 01
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bellabelly says:
you know, I don't even read mine anymore.If I DO read it, I wait until like a week later, and see if it really came true.
But I'm a leo, as if you couldn't already tell.
and hey, come see me at my temp site. yes i've updated. yes, I'm begging.
posted on: February 01
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bp says:
ewwwww. Croila, that's yeeky-- and I don't even know who that guy is but I don't want to be his bondage partner for sure.
posted on: February 01
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Margaret says:
Ton horoscope etait interessant, BP et j'ai aime ton interpretation.
posted on: February 01
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violetismycolor says:
two naked people in your bed? and they didn't specify gender? wow, bp, you have some 'interesting' experiences coming up this month...and of course, you'll be blogging them, n'est-ce pae?
posted on: February 02
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Gale says:
Or it could mean that you're going to homebirth twins. In either case: ew.
posted on: February 02
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Sorry, comments are now closed.
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