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May 12, 2004 12:41 PM- signs
If alien beings entered a domicile with an expectation of learning about the resident species, how would they know if a woman had not been present in said domicile for, oh I don't know say, six days?
1) There would be no cap on the milk bottle. (Would the cap be somewhere else? On the shelf, perhaps? On the floor? Under a cupboard? No-- just an open milk container in the fridge).
2) A tug on BOTH vegetable drawers would reveal no vegetables but bottles and bottles of beer. (Would there be any vegetables in the fridge at all? No. Unless you count pickles as a vegetable.)
3) The dishwasher would be full of clean dishes that appear to have been run through, oh I don't know say, six days ago.
And to think there are days when I wonder what I bring to the relationship!
got 2 cents?
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Cindy says:
Never wonder again....I doubt it will change ; )
posted on: May 12
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kim says:
my husband thinks going grocery shopping is when you buy beer AND cheese-puffs. Running to the store is when you just buy beer. How did he manage to stay alive before I entered his life?
posted on: May 12
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wee says:
The frightening thing is it is rather the reverse in my house. That's what you get when you marry a Virgo. My vegetable crispers are scrupiously clean and you could perform energency surgery in my bathroom if you had too (although frankly I'd prefer that you don't. I'm not good with blood. Gore, yes. Blood, not so much)... and believe me...it's not me that keeps it that way. I'm a certifiable mess. Yes, it's true. I generally blame it on my artistic sensibility, but really? I'm just goddamn lazy.
posted on: May 12
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wee says:
wee's word of the day: Hot-pot.
posted on: May 12
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bluepoppy says:
Oh my GOD! d2ratio!! What are you doing in here?? You KNOW that I worship the ground you walk on and that I don't deserve you and that while I was off gallivanting you were painting all six hundred of the roofs on this house and taking care of the dogs and paying the bills and letting me run up your credit card because I am not allowed to have one anymore since I have NO control with credit cards and oh my GOD. Get out-- you're not allowed in here. GIRLS ONLY. Out. Out.
posted on: May 12
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Zoot says:
The weird thing is, my hubby did FINE before we met, then he lost all knowledge of running a home all together. Weird phenomena
posted on: May 12
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Julia S says:
WOW. d2ratio is go-oo-od. Really good.
He nailed my three major faults in one pithy paragraph and he doesn't even know me.
I refuse to countenance a theory that makes me less than extraordinary (ie All Women Are The Same) so I am left to conclude... what?
Welcome back.
And, if you get an answer, could you tell me WHY my husband puts beer in the crisper?
posted on: May 13
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bluepoppy says:
Oh I am so BUSTED! *laughing* Julia-- you are extraordinary, it's just that my husand is an expert on women which should keep me on my toes, but obviously . . not always the case. And, beer goes in the crisper to help it keep that crispy, fresh taste, right?
posted on: May 13
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wee says:
why does the phrase "beauty products" make me snicker like a six-year-old high on helium and cotton candy?
posted on: May 13
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Red Baron says:
Why is it that women buy lots of clothes where they insist on only wearing them once. Would it not be better to have shops that hire outfits? Why is it that when a woman wants to go out for mundane tasks she has to put her slap on and if she's going out in the evening she has to remove at least half the contents of her wardrobe? Why is it that heaven help you if a woman is going out on a proper social function like a wedding or such like she has to empty her entire wardrobe on the bed before announcing that she has nothing to wear? Furthermore why does she then ask his opinion about whether it should be the blue dress or the red dress when she isn't going to take any notice of what he says because he doesn't understand fashion?
[Men -DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT answer this question -it's a trap, you are either telling her she looks fat or that she can't carry off the red properly or that she's an old bag lady with no nice clothes, you may not think just saying "they're both nice" is doing this but it is and there is no way out from there. Say nothing, if necessary go and lock yourself in the toilet but Get Out!]
Beer goes in the cooler because then it can flop around with its friends without it looking like the fridge is full of beer for which of course we would be in trouble. See, self-preservation is one of the things Tiggers do best!
posted on: May 13
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Lizard Breath says:
ooooo redbaron - you're a brave man blog diving in here when she already said GIRLS ONLY!! :)
welcome back, hope you're rested and relaxed, and you've 'properly thanked' your fine and wonderful hubby for choosing your fridge's crisper to crisp his beer in ;)
posted on: May 13
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bluepoppy says:
*diving for cover* Oh Red Baron, uh-- welcome--love the strong opinions and colorful commentary!
However, this will surely teach me not to make comentary (even light hearted commentary) on that oh-so-combustible subject of male vs female- although, clearly it isnot simply male vs female-- witness Wee's perfect mate-- which is not to say my mate is not perfect, Do you HEAR me, darlingest? You are PERFECT and I was SO wrong . . lol and no, I'm not finished unpacking my stuff is going to be strewn about for days and days . . *wicked laughter*
And THX for shielding me Lizard breath-- good to see you!
posted on: May 13
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Katherine says:
oooooo . . . this is all so pithy, so revealing . . . should I ever choose to cohabitate again I have filed away all bits of data for future explainations of strange male behavior . . . I always *wondered* about the whole beer in the crisper thing . . thanks for clueing me in . . .
posted on: May 13
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Red Baron says:
Sorry, I got the link from Lizard and I've been doing a bit of blog diving. Having given up smoking at the weekend I've been spoiling for a blog-fight (I am the redbaron after all) so sorry I couldn't resist. It was meant light-hearted to illustrate the fact that many of us men think that you ladies have foibles in the same way that we have. The Girls only sign, well I couldn't resist and it did give me a frisson posting knowing that I was skating the gender line!
posted on: May 13
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Lizard Breath says:
thanks blue poppy....
um....thanks redbaron (I think ?!) no, wait --- SORRY poppy -- didn't mean to leave the portal open to the cutie-infester but since tomorrow's friday, and he's terribly witty.......
posted on: May 14
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bluepoppy says:
I'm glad you dove in, Red Baron-- sparks are good--- and Lizard Breath-- any friend of yours is a friend of mine!
posted on: May 14
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Sorry, comments are now closed.
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