Before I wax nostalgic for this magical place I love that I must now leave, there are a couple of things that must be addressed.

(NOTE: If you are not a follower of Survivor you'll probably just want to move along. My apologies to you for this digression into the narrow and over-exposed focus of American pop culture. Yet, I have NO shame. It is the one reality show that I have watched religiously since the Australian Outback and I can safely say, with absolute seriousness, everything I ever needed to know to successfully navigate the shark-infested waters of corporate America I learned watching Survivor. It is worth more than any MBA from anywhere.)

So, as I have heretofore restrained myself from the random rants each week that I might have otherwise unleashed, I will now get my proverbial ya-yahs out.

To LEX Do you have any idea what a total loser you are? With your pathetic mohawk and blue hair and cut-off surfer shorts-- you are the male equivalent of the 55 year-old woman who dresses like her 18 year-old daughter and tells all the daughter's friends that she is one of them. (If you don't understand what I'm saying, go see Mean Girls) And, you are a sore loser who lacks any shred of sportsmanship. I spit on you-- PAH. You fucked over Colby and Ethan (who apparently you were "friends" with in real life) and yet get your tattoos in a twist when Rob outplays you. You are an unevolved pinheaded prick with the emotional development of a 3 year-old. You want to see class and fine sportsmanship? Watch Colby-- from a distance cause he is lightyears away from you, punk.

To Kathy You totally disappointed me. You and Lex deserve each other. In your first season, I wanted to see you win. After watching your emotional display of thrid-rate manipulation, I wash my hands of you. Go back to Vermont and stick your head in a vat of maple syrup.

To Amber My god, girlfriend. What the hell have you got going on in your horoscope? The planets must be having a cluster fuck right over your head! All the best to you and the beantown boy. But do tell him to lay off the Boston cream donuts-- he sure was looking pudgy last night.

Okay, now-- so. I'm leaving, but what a trip it has been. Outside of Roy D, it was the most perfect vacation I could have dreamed of culminating in a lunch yesterday at Pasqual's that I will be remembering in detail for weeks to come. Ah. Sigh. All good things must come to an end. And I do miss T and the pups so very much. Eager to climb into bed with all three of them! HAH. (Relax, I'm just kidding).

But, I have so much piled up waiting for me when I get home. The contract from the publisher is on my kitchen table. Just waiting for my John Hancock. I have to send the final draft manuscript on Monday, 17th so there are some long nights between today and next Monday (oh my GOD it's next Monday--). But, I will get it done. I am rested and deeply relaxed. Put me in, Coach. I'm ready to get back in the game.

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