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April 23, 2004 8:02 AM- Cassandra says . . .

What's the list again? The one that names the top most stressful life events? Not generally my thing because my life doesn't have big changes in it. But I'm thinking that's about to change. And, it looks like I'm gonna hit more than one on the list. This is not good. Be prepared. I do not handle stress. I would say, well--as in I do not handle stress well. But I think it's more apt to simply say,

I Do Not Handle Stress

So, what's coming down the road?

I'm making some wild predictions here, but let's see how accurate they are in six months.

Six months from today (what's that-- October 23) I believe some if not all of the following may have taken place:

1. Sold the house where we have lived since 1989. It is the only house T and I have ever lived together. It was a wreck with drug dealers living in the apartment upstairs when we first moved in. Over the years we replaced the drug dealers with the Clampett's filthy, packrat New Hampshire cousins, got rid of them. Then, two years, (that's 2 years!--jesus), after the Clampett's got the boot (thanks again Sherriff Hadley), we began renovating the upstairs.

Why so long? The stench. The filth. Their lingering presence.

But now the house is lovely. And as much as I hated it for so many years-- now with all the sweat and tears we'e put into it, I know I will miss it. Plus, it is the end of a life phase. Gak.

That's the real issue here. Yes, we are about to embark on a new phase, new house with new dogs (what we did 14 years ago), but that's what is the struggle. I AM SO OLD.

2. Which brings me to my next prediction. Sometime this summer I believe I will go blonde. This brunette who never so much as dyed her hair green or purple when she was a teenager. This hippie chick who never got a true salon cut (had all one length down her back) until she was 24. This psuedo (and yes, as a young teen I pronounced it as SUEDE-o because I was such a queerbait bookworm and never heard it out loud) "all-natural" woman who has the highest contempt for plastic surgery is seriously considering coloring her hair blonde.

Can we say, midlife crisis?

I might as well tell you, I'm 41. There. Now all the young bloggers can run screaming into the night. Kind of like what happened to me at Josh and Toni's wedding last September when Josh's buddy (all of 26) was hitting on me and dancing with me (and I must make clear, he was not shit-faced or otherwise this would have no import) when Josh slides by and goes, "Dude, she's old enough to be your MOTHER!" and the guy shook like he was waking up from a bad dream and slipped back into the party.

I'm sorry to lose a young, hip reader. But, I think this age thing has got to be addressed. And I'm just gonna let it all hang out.

3. I think the company where I work may get sold. If that happens, be ready for some MAJOR posts.

4. The book will be done and publishing underway. All on schedule for our Spring 05 launch. And, we've got NPR, Conan, and People already lined up so watch out-- that is gonna be some serious whupass on the market. (KIDDING, of course)

5. Build of our new home (see April 11 blog for details) that will surely test our loving partnership as T and I are veddy veddy strong personalities and to our great chagrin, have a most challenging time doing joint projects. So, gee-- no problem building a house together, hmm?

(Sigh) Well, I guess it isn't that much. It just seems like a lot to me. Because, dear reader, I am a WUSS! A fragile, easily broken, WUSS.

But the odd thing is, I feel having this little place to pour it all out will help me some as we move through this oh-so-turbulent-phase of my silly life.

And hey. Damn. T just came in and recounted The Office from last night that I was too tired to stay up and watch. Damn. I missed a goodie. Guess we should check out tivo cause god knows I can't stay up til 11 and get up in the morning. (And NO that's not an age thing-- or, is it?)

And for any grammar hounds out there, the reason I put all books, movies, tv shows in italics when I know some should be in quotes or underlined or what have you is because I ONLY KNOW the italics and the bold command in html. So feck off (that's a bit of British for you, my darling Ricky Gervais)-- or tell me how to do it.

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