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March 24, 2004 12:08 PM- red pillow phase

One thing that Joseph Campbell said in his long interview series with Bill Moyers that has always stuck with me. I can't give the precise quote, but to paraphrase-- when you are young, you think everything just happens by chance, or coincidence. You go into a bookstore one day when you normally would walk past and meet someone or read something that changes your life path. When you get older, much older (he was 84 at the time) "you look back on your life and it unfolds like a novel." (I know that part of the quote is right).

Right now, when I look back I don't see a novel (I'm still aways away from 84, and I trust that's a good thing), but I do see phases.

There was a phase when I lived in this house and didn't have two nickels to rub together (I'd hunt for change out of the couch to buy dog food-- for the dogs, of course, I'm not that dramatic). And, I didn't care. At all. All the clothes in my closet took up about 5 inches across and that is including my winter coat. I was in the throes of my first creative venture and I had such an "de l'amour, du pain, et de l'air frais" attitude and could care less that we had no curtains on the windows.

Much has changed since then (though there's still only a few rooms in the house that have curtains on the windows). I'm now in a phase where I find myself pouring through Country Living magazines in the drugstore (okay, this is a blog, I have to tell the truth, I actually buy them and bring them home). Home decor actually interests me-- I covet objects, and as a good Buddhist can tell you, I am therefore doomed to never know nirvana as long as I sustain this covetousness.

And so, I comfort myself by saying this is a phase. It will not last. There will come a time when I will again have the greatest indifference to interior decorating. Until then, I believe I am in my red pillow phase.

My cultural ambassador and dear friend Tara brought back a pair of red pillows for me from her recent trip to Turkey. I love them. But I look forward to the next phase when lust for material acquisition has passed and I am living/creating in a simpler, no-need-to-work-a-job-I-hate-because-I-have-so-fewer-needs-to-sustain phase.

I don't know yet what I'll call it.

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